Gregory Brundle

I am the Greg Brundle, settle for no other Greg Brundle, ask me about my fissures

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@gregbrundle I will Mantle you like a demigod. You hold the title of Greg Brundle for this moment, however I can guarantee that by the end of this eon you will experience the entirety of my wrath. #88uprising #GetMantl'd

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@Aella_Girl hello I'm sure you get this question all the time, but what is your preferred bagel? Mine used to be an Everything bagel from 225 W 35th St, but since quarantine started I've mostly been eating white bread with a hole cut out of the middle #GlizzyBrundsAskstheStars

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

I can't see my grandkids anymore- not cuz of COVID, I just bought a Trump 2020 flag so big that it blocks my view of the field. Not that they play in the field, since neither them nor my children can stand me anymore. #MAGAlone

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@npcprincess666 hello I'm sure you get this question all the time, but what is your favorite time of day? Mine used to be sunrise, with a warm mug of coffee overlooking my grandchildren playing in the field, but I often sleep past noon nowadays, sadly. #GlizzyBrundsAskstheStars

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@bunnydelphine I'm sure you get this question all the time, but what is your favorite way to shop for bread? My favorite way used to be by going to Giant, but nowadays it's mostly online, sadly. #serious #AMA #GlizzyBrundsAskstheStars

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@wesleysnipes looking back, do you regret your involvement in Mr. Peanut's untimely demise? Or was it a learning experience? Did you walk away a broken man, or a man stronger in his convictions? #serious #Planters #MrPeanut #Blade

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@RanchoObiWan what's your favorite?

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@benshapiro does that ass fart 🍑

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

are u single

[Flo from Progressive @ItsFlo]

What should my #TurkeyTrot name be?

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@TheRealOJ32 hey why was Charles Manson so damn short

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

I'm seething.

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

Why am I crying?

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

AW SAMHELL I MISSED ANOTHER DANG POLL!! I'm gettin right tongue-tied with a smackerin of that old country anger over this here predicament, and I'd appreciate some forewarning of whence the next poll does in fact come forth! #pleaseredopoll #civicduty #democracy

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

I've noticed a lot of other babies don't wear top hats. Should we bring them back? 🎩

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

I KNEW THIS ONE!! DAMMIT!! Planters Nuts Poll Day should be a holiday so I can take part in the democratic process. I KNOW MY RIGHTS DAMMIT

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

Where do most legumes live?

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

IM GONNA FISSURE if I miss another of these darn polls- as a registered voter I want to take part in the democratic process but I keep MISSING these DEADLINES

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

Which is your favorite style of peanut and why? Give us your hot takes.

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

CHRIST I keep missing out on these gosh darn polls can you PLEASE redo the poll I want my vote to be heard

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

What do you do while you cook?

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

SHIT I missed this poll too please redo thanks

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

Are peanuts better for watching basketball or football? We’ll keep baseball out of this debate.

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

I too go team

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

Mondays are for meant for one thing. 🏈

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

DAMMIT I missed the poll- please redo thanks

[Mr. Peanut @MrPeanut]

Which snack goes best with football?

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@Pringles how much do I need to pay you to get myself one of those Pringles Can coffins? #hookmeup #thefissuresaregonnaendme @MrPeanut also while I'm at it what and/or why the fuck happened to y'all

[Gregory Brundle @LHight_ShamAcct]

@FemboyHooters__ does it make me gay if I'm only into missionary with cis women for the purpose of conception #AMA #MAGA