AIMEE NOODLE

party on wayne, farty on tards

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

"KNOCK KNOCK OPEN UP THE DOOR IT'S REAL"

"... No offense, DMX, but do you know how to tell a good knock knock joke? Because that was the opposite of good comedy"

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@MattMcMuscles - is it possible that super seducer was written for and/or by David Cage?

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

I legit don't understand why Kevin Hart is always so sweaty. You would think he's earned enough to live within a/c luxury.

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@jimmisimpson so sad that I didn't get a reply so I drank 6 mcpoyle cheladas while a friend yelled "YOU WILL RETWEET HERRRRR"

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@jimmisimpson I recently witnessed an 8am purchase of two 40s of bud lite and a gallon of whole milk. If consumed simultaneously, they would be a McPoyle Chelada. Before trying to make one, what are your thoughts/advice?

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

Did you know: David Foster Wallace had a pet chimpanzee* named Bananas Foster Wallace**

*unfortunately this became a very sad parody of the movie Dunston checks in except called David checks out

**this multiple layered joke may not be understood but I'll have you know I'm smart

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@EdgarAllanFoe This is the first and last time I'll ever accomplish anything I'll let you know

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

As far as humor goes, I apply the juicy j "these hoes," or in my case, jokes, "they for everybody" model - however, you quickly discover by the end of the song that the hoes are actually all for juicy j, and the reactions to my jokes (eyerolls, etc) are also just for me

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@EdgarAllanFoe https://t.co/UbBUj5gCuF

And that's what I say to that

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@EdgarAllanFoe - personal request for you to create a mashup fan account of EdgarTimAllanPoe

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

Climate Change is real because toto only blessed the rains in Africa and nowhere else

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@dubsteppenwolf Try roleplaying through fallout 4 as the Hamburglar

Total game changer

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

My 3 year old nephew says literally only the word "asparagus" over and over and everyone laughs

But I say it and everyone's like "are you sure you don't mean aspergers because you sound like you have it"

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@notveryraven Can I get The Shape of Waifu: body pillow edition

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@AANDeloucas Now with even more cocaine!

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

Cool villain idea: a giant gobstopper/jawbreaker

Then Cool Hero will defeat it and:
1. Say "you've officially been gobstopped/jawbroken"
2. Be the first person ever to actually finish one of those

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

Can I add undefeated wrestling champ to my resume if I've never actually touched another human being

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

Only 90s kids will get this!!!

Actually not being in debt as a country

I'm so nostalgic for it guys

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

was really hoping the new Natalie Portman movie, annihilation, was actually a mortal kombat sequel/remake.

Spoiler alert: my hopes were the only truly annihilated things here

[AIMEE NOODLE @LILWAYNESWORLD]

@dubsteppenwolf Add to this list:
- introduce yourself
- offer ride in your cool racecar bed
- make sure you've heard them fart

Ideally not all at once