we live on a planet where trees warn each other of danger through a fungal network. Where octopuses dream.
Where elephants return to the bones of the deceased and stand over them in silence. Where bees use dance to communicate where to fly and where the flower is.
Where crows remember the faces of people who were cruel to them and pass this memory to their children.
Where ants build cities. Where cats purr at a frequency that accelerates the healing of bones.
Where, after a forest fire, the first thing the earth does is grow flowers.
I have seen a lot of posts and videos in relation to the new MAFS BBC Panorama documentary, essentially asking why, if women were being mistreated on the show by their partners, they didn’t just leave.
I was a police officer for many years, specialising in cases of domestic abuse and abusive patterns of behaviour.
I thought we had got past victim blaming in relation to domestic abuse?
People don’t leave abusive relationships, even short-term ones, for a variety of reasons.
The person is not abusive 100% of the time. When they are kind and compassionate, it can become intoxicating, especially in contrast to when they are awful. This makes victims crave the good parts, and they are conditioned to believe that the bad parts are their fault. This makes them want to “try harder” and “be better” for their abuser, because the good times become the reward.
There is also the fact that abusers can be scary, and they can play serious mental games with a victim. The victim literally may not understand that they are being abused.
The victim may fear that they will not be believed, or that the abuser will create a smear campaign against them, making them out to be the bad one, and trying to ruin their life and/or reputation.
Abusers deny that they have done anything wrong when called out, and are masters at turning the tables on their victims, convincing them that they are the abusers, not them. This is called DARVO: deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.
Throw in a reality TV show with cameras, the promise of fame, and the impact of leaving a show and the reputational costs this can have depending on what is aired in your absence, and it creates the perfect scenario for abuse to breed, go unchallenged, and for victims to feel trapped with someone who is hurting them.
Instead of asking ‘why don’t they leave?’ we need to ask ‘why does the abuser act like this?’
@Rachel_SUTDA
The older I get, the more I believe happiness lives in the ordinary. Pets. Plants. A quiet morning coffee. Blue sky. Cotton clouds. Birds singing. The gentle breeze through the trees. A clean, cosy house. Good food. Good hearted simple poeple. So much of life’s beauty is quiet, gentle, and already here. And somehow, one of the sweetest feelings is knowing I get to wake up and meet it all again tomorrow.
My coworker and I were talking about capitalism, and he said, “The Earth is a resort for like 500 rich people, and the rest of us are just the staff.” Now I can’t unsee it.
Como decía Churchill: “La principal diferencia entre los humanos y los animales es que los animales nunca permitirían que los lidere el más estúpido de la manada”
Mientras tanto, EEUU eligió a #Trump dos veces. RT 🤡👇
Iranians just published the new very banger LEGO AI movie that Trump almost wants to put onto agreement list to stop them.
Do whatever you need to do but don't let Trump watch this 😭🤣😂
Justo hoy, Netanyahu lanza su ataque más duro contra el Líbano desde que empezó la ofensiva.
Su desprecio por la vida y el derecho internacional es intolerable.
Toca hablar claro:
- Líbano debe formar parte del alto al fuego.
- La comunidad internacional debe condenar esta nueva violación del derecho internacional.
- La Unión Europea debe suspender su Acuerdo de Asociación con Israel.
- Y no debe haber impunidad ante estos actos criminales.