Brandon Murphy

Cool dad, cool guy, cold world!

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

Man they going crazy over this Glock ban here in Maryland. Well the ones that acquire them legally are. The criminals saying this changes nothing for them 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

When I was a kid, when I heard a snowstorm was coming, all I could see was dollar signs! I would make $100+ in a day going door to door shoveling snow. No school? Welp, time to make some munyun!

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

Pusha been spitting over the years but Malice was rapping like somebody put a gun to his head and said, spit your best verses on "Let Lord Sort em out" or you're dead.

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

Anybody watch, "The Family Business"? The budget for bigen has to be in the millions, lol!

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

My @UberEats driver delivered my order to the wrong address (not the address that was provided with the order) and customer service told me I have to take responsibility for the drivers mistake. Terrible! Looks like it's @DoorDash or @Grubhub from here on out.

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

According to the definition of the two genders in Trump's executive order on transgender rights, none of us are male or female. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

@_3volepod 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

You ever re-watch a movie from the 90s that you absolutely loved and discover that it's absolute trash? Currently watching "The Guyver". I loved this movie as a kid but watching it now is a struggle lol.

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

I'm not opposed to others using a lil ganja, but I don't partake myself. That being said, it's probably not a good idea to do it in your car when delivering other people's groceries. Every item I got reeks of weed. I'm super annoyed right now.

[Innocence Project @innocence]

#MarcellusWilliams is only THREE days away from being executed for a crime he didn’t commit. We need you to use your platform to stop this cruel, irreversible mistake before it’s too late. ⁠
Though the governor's office is closed today, you can tweet and e-mail Gov. Parson now (https://t.co/sAwrXjul6a) and urge him to stop the execution. You can also use this social media toolkit to create your own post or video about Marcellus: https://t.co/MVst5funYF

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

What happened to limos? When did they become not cool? All these prom send offs and not one limo. This generation got little suits, bikini dresses and no limos.

*Edit*
Reading this status back makes me feel like the old dude that's hating on younger generations lol 😂

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

Did you know that trampolines were originally called Jumpolines until your mom got on one? #TheMoreYouKnow

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

@safidi I would love to see this!

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

Started this 5 week Cloud practitioner course. Here goes nothing.

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

@safidi

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

First night in St. Thomas and I got too drunk too fast. 😵‍💫🥴

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

@geniusatwork282 @SportsCenter It's called strategy. First two kickers lay down good bunts to get on base and the third kicks it out, even if it's caught ideally at least one runner comes home. If everybody just kicks out it would be a lot of caught balls on the outfield.

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

@LucaDoyle2 @SportsCenter Not the same game you played in school. We have D1 athletes and former NFL players that come out and get humbled.

[Brandon Murphy @LL_CoolDad]

Looking at the side effects for these two anti-inflammatory drugs my doctor prescribed me for my shoulder and I'm like nah bruh, I'm good! I'll just deal with the pain.