*Taking pictures years ago at a family reunion in Aspen Grove*
Photographer: “And can you (pointing at my uncle) put your hand on your wife’s shoulder?”
Uncle: “Which one?”
Photographer: “Guess I have to clarify that in Utah…”
Uncle: “No…I was asking which shoulder…”
[at a gender reveal party]
Karen: so blue smoke means it’s a boy, and pink smoke means it’s a girl
me: everyone ready?
guests: three, two, one...!
[white smoke emerges from the chimney]
me: just as I thought, it’s a new Pope