Jonathan Long

Professional-ish Stuntman. Delusional Dreamer.

I yap about D2C E-Commerce, Brand Building, the Red Sox #DirtyWater & the soul crushing Dolphins #PhinsUp

[Jonathan Long @long]

I miss these. Every year, around this time, I would get a handmade birthday card from my dad. I saved them all. This one was from 2005.

They were always so ridiculous & twisted. Dude was a legend. They always had a past memory and a reminder...

[Jonathan Long @long]

This Brewers team has been so fun to watch. Just a bunch of scrappy gamers. Milwaukee is just kicking the living shit out of the Rays. I wanted this to go 7, for max baseball, but I don’t think it’s going beyond 4.

#WorldSeries #ThisIsMyCrew #WinOurWay

[Jonathan Long @long]

"Fake and Gay" - ICE

The simulation has morphed into a South Park episode right before going full GTA6. What a time to be alive.

[U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement @ICEgov]

Fake & Gay!

Moussa Diawara, the Malian national featured in this shockingly poorly researched @60Minutes report, now faces allegations of immigration FRAUD after his asylum application surfaced, revealing that he claimed to be a HOMOSEXUAL man who feared persecution in Mali.

Read more ⬇️

[Jonathan Long @long]

Did every tin-foil-hat wearer decide to log in to Twitter today? This place has reached Reddit-level basement-dweller energy.

[Jonathan Long @long]

...of how time speed runs as we get older.

I will leave you with this...

"TIME DOES HAVE A WAY OF SLIPPING AWAY BEFORE WE ARE AWARE OF IT - BE SAFE - BE HAPPY - BEFORE TIME SLIPS AWAY"

[Jonathan Long @long]

I miss these. Every year, around this time, I would get a handmade birthday card from my dad. I saved them all. This one was from 2005.

They were always so ridiculous & twisted. Dude was a legend. They always had a past memory and a reminder...

[Jonathan Long @long]

@uttam_singhk

[Jonathan Long @long]

@boardyai Facts. Now it's easier to watch it just drain in real-time.

[Jonathan Long @long]

Updated Codex this morning (because it stopped working 10 min after I went to sleep due to GPT-6.1 Sol being over capacity -- so fkn ridiculous) and then it took me 10 min to find the new usage button on the bottom. Clearly need another coffee or 5. ☕️☕️☕️

[SEC Numbers Guy @secnumbersguy]

This is officially the smallest crowd for a home game for the #1 team in the country since 1990.

Absolutely EMBARRASSING showing by Miami fans.

[Jonathan Long @long]

@MarcLobliner My Grok Bot acts like it eats lead paint chips 24/7. Also, check out - https://t.co/E6iGtfGgQU - considering using this starting in '27. Open source. No cloud. Stays on your device. With AI just breaching everything, self-storage is key.

[Jonathan Long @long]

@emmaleevance Such a waste. If we were in the Midwest it would be 100,000 at each game lol

[Jonathan Long @long]

Happy Word Series Game 1 Day to those who celebrate. Let's go Brewers! Milwaukee in 6. #WorldSeries #WinOurWay #ThisIsMyCrew

[Jonathan Long @long]

AI is an accelerator. ⛽️🔥

You still have to be intelligent and have a full understanding of what you are doing. It can help intelligent people do things faster and at insane scale.

It can also speed run something into the ground if that idea is led by a fucking idiot.

[Jonathan Long @long]

For comparison sake, Kyle Tucker hit 17 bombs and stole 12 bags this season. And he is getting $240 million over 4 years from the Dodgers.

[Jonathan Long @long]

Jarren Duran at $11.1 Million is a steal. And if you disagree you probably have blue hair and drive a Subaru. 20 Bombs. 20 Bags. Willing to go to battle at any time. #DirtyWater

[Jonathan Long @long]

Your mobile numbers are next. Just wait for the AI agent sim swap shit storm. Get on @efani - use code “long” and get your 2nd month free or $99 off the annual plan. 👉 https://t.co/agVb7NBHSE

Secure and lock down everything.

[Jonathan Long @long]

Buckle up. See last post. 💀

[Andrew Curran @AndrewCurran_]

Quest Diagnostics has been hacked. Patient data was exposed. They serve roughly half of U.S. hospitals and physicians. Investigation ongoing.

[Jonathan Long @long]

@MrNiceTry @Denche2005 Honestly, the best analogy I’ve heard that the average person should (hopefully lol) understand.

[Jonathan Long @long]

99.99% of people don’t understand how insane the last 48 hours have been. Rotate your API keys. Change your passwords. Enable 2FA with a yubiKey on everything. Move off Google Auth etc. Or get absolutely wrecked.

[Jonathan Long @long]

Social experiment to identify the lazy & dumb. I'm here for it. If you give an AI agent access to your stuff you have it coming. Can't wait for all these small brains celebrating on social media that their AI agent booked them a dinner reservation or an Uber to disappear. RIP.

[Watcher.Guru @WatcherGuru]

JUST IN: 🇺🇸 Morgan Stanley, Bank of America, JPMorgan, and Wells Fargo detect unauthorized AI agents accessing customer accounts and attempting to act without user instructions.