Lauren Mckay

what’s cookin

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

Gonna get a shirt that says “Musty for Dusty” #goblue

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

They gonna have to make a documentary for literally every year since I was born

https://t.co/4FbXwqxL4h

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

So I am a married mama of two. Naturally I should celebrate my husband on Sunday. But I’m also a child of a dead dad, so I think I’m just gonna make the day all about me. Thoughts?

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

@thesummeritp TikTok is concerned for me and so am I

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

Just a few thoughts:
1. Having kids is pretty cool. Like you literally build and birth a person. And then you’re just obsessed with them. 10 outta 10.
2. I woulda creamed my pants in front of The Pope for a game 7 in New York.

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

I wonder how that guy from LIB that was addicted to ibuprofen is doing

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

Need someone to tell me if the og Lilo and Stitch is as sad as I think it is or if I forgot to take my meds

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

@avitable No, I was trying to be funny. Guess it didn’t catch 😂

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

*gets car jacked*
Me, a car sick girlie: do you mind if I drive?

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

I used to be funnier. Fuck big pharma.

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

I make my sims brush their teeth more than I brush my own #Sims4

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

@Disney @GetSpectrum y’all listen to me and you listen good, if I cannot watch college football this weekend because y’all are having a ball measuring contest, I will personally drive to both your headquarters and cut off ALL THE BALLS I SEE. No balls for either of us. 🏈🏈🏈

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

When the boss is a big Nuggets fan

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

The most frustrating part of parenthood so far is seeing your baby is tired, knowing they need to sleep, and they just WONT I DONT GET IT PLEASE SLEEP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

My babies first word is going to be “bazinga” bc all we do is binge Big Bang.

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

All watching the World Cup did was make me want to watch She’s The Man.

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

My holiday toxic trait is every single time I leave the house I tell myself “hey good for you. you deserve a sugar cookie almond milk latte” every.single.time. @Starbucks I blame you.

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

Gonna try sleeping on my husbands side of the bed tonight bc apparently you can’t hear the baby crying from that side. The baby that is in our room. Right next to the bed.

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

#Givaway

[Lauren Mckay @LOmmkay]

Everyone says the first shower after giving birth is this euphoric experience. Idk what y’all are talking about. You’re raw, bleeding, emotional. In a strange hospital shower. No, the best is two weeks pp when you can finally lift your legs up to wash under your knees.