I Can't lie to myself.
I can lie to friends, family, Social media followers or even my own ego for a while. But the market has removed the difference between:
Who I think I am, and
Who I actually am under pressure.
I have told myself things like:
I am disciplined,
I will follow the plan,
I won't overtrade,
I will manage the risk properly .
Maybe I genuinely believed it.
But when:
Profit appeared
Pressure Increased
Losses hit
Emotions rose
My real Habit took over. And that's the Hardest truth I need to accept.
Passing a evaluation felt like victory. And suddenly, the same me who was patient, disciplined, and careful during the evaluation becomes aggressive, emotional, and desperate after getting funded.
And felt like:
Now it's time to make real money.
That's when market Humbled me quickly.
A red trade appears.
Normally, this shouldn’t matter.
But emotionally, it does.
Because that time the mind said:
“I just got funded.”
“I can’t start losing already.”
“I need to recover this fast.”
That’s the exact moment I stopped trading the chart and started trading emotions.
Now patience disappears.
I begin forcing setups.
I entered because:
candles were moving fast
momentum was looking strong
I feared missing out
I wanted emotional relief
Not because my setup was truly valid.
At that stage, the goal was no longer good trading.
The goal become:
“Erase the pain.”
It Erased but not pain,
It Erased my funded account.😞
Learned a Hard lesson.
How can I explain this trade. You know real traders will understand. 😂
$NQ Edged my SL, I got fed up with PA and moved SL to BE and kicked me out at BE and ran to straight Tp ☠️