Laura Teague

Writer of speculative fiction and poetry. Reader of everything. Incurable oddball. #amwriting

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@BillCorbett I read it like the Law & Order sound.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@diannaeanderson Oven cleaner (make sure it's the fume free kind) works great on bathtubs.

[City of Louisville @CityLouisvlleCo]

Read the poem "ashes and snow" sent to the City by Maren, a freshman at Monarch High School here https://t.co/pqOCLTsJh6 @BVSDcolorado

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@LouisatheLast My dog was a vacuum cleaner with a weird dainty streak. Like she would absolutely devour something and then delicately spit out the bits she didn't like (typically pills or carrots, totally intact).

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@Nnedi I grew up in a house next to an open field; on windy days there would be literally hundreds of tumbleweeds rolling around the neighborhood. Once my neighbor frantically grabbed 10 of them, put them in the bed of his pickup truck, and drove off with them. I'm baffled to this day.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@AlexHarrowSFF @scribblingfox My cat did really well on the Royal Canin digest sensitive food supplemented with GNC calorie boosting gel (went from like 6 to 8 pounds).

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@diannaeanderson I was visiting my dad when a tree in his yard broke, huge branch was dangling 10' up. Next day, I glance out the window to see him heading outside, alone, with a ladder in one hand and a CHAINSAW in the other. I opened the door and said "So should I just give 911 a heads up now?"

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@diannaeanderson When that was happening, I remember my dad and I were watching TV and there was an adorable dog on an ad. I said, "Aww, a French Bulldog!"

My dad wagged his finger and said, "Nuh-uh. FREEDOM bulldog."

To this day it's still our little running joke whenever we see one.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@DiannaLGunn My SO suffered a debilitating spine injury about 15 years ago. Diagnosis took 10 years b/c we couldn't afford doctors. He's never been treated. He can't get disability b/c it *could* be treated with spinal fusion so no doctor will sign off on it, but we can't afford that either.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@Artists_Ali I get a million dollars AND won't have to find short length pants anymore, no downside!

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@furiosalizabeth This happened in the neighborhood my dad lives in (I'm 10 minutes away); he was out on a walk and saw the whole thing. It is *astounding* that nobody was hurt; it's a huge residential neighborhood with people constantly outdoors/in the park, especially on a nice day like today.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@AlexandraErin My bank replaced my card without notice, at the same time someone was repeatedly breaking into the apartment mailboxes with a duped key. One day the card didn't work so I called, they said it was because they'd mailed me a replacement card.

I actually blurted, "YOU FUCKING WHAT"

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@ellle_em This is like a cooking video by an alien that watched 50 cooking videos with no comprehension of what any of it is actually for.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@sarahhollowell My mom banned Rugrats on the grounds it included "so much damn screaming."

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@sarahhollowell @omskivar Yup, I've got plastic frames like the ones in your photo and there seems to be no way to stop the fogging! I've just accepted that I won't be able to see when it's cold out.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@ellle_em A janitor at my Colorado high school was held in a secret prison for over a year just because he came from the wrong Middle Eastern village; we thought he'd abruptly quit or moved until he showed back up one day with this horrifying story. It barely sounds believable now.

[Katie Porter @katieporterca]

Women. Accounted. For. All. The. Losses.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@deapoirierbooks Have you played Outer Worlds? If you liked Fallout 4, you'll probably like that!

[Bridget Kelly @IamBridgetKelly]

Just a reminder of what those Capitol steps looked like during BLM protests. Miss me with the “overwhelmed” and “unprepared” law enforcement. There’s no such thing.

[Laura Teague @LTFiction]

@AnaMardoll Ah yes, that feeling where something nice happens and all you can focus on is the sudden pit in your stomach screaming "DOOOOOOOM"