Lin Tawsick

Too funny for standup so I’m stuck on Twitter.

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

#AaronRodgers use Earl Gray tea to warm your hands. It also moisturizes.

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Bats? 🦇 #Austin #Dubious

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

I want back in to Monaco. #MonacoTakeMeBack #MonacoPleaseForgiveMe #ICareAboutMonaco

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Sometimes you eat the salad, but sometimes the salad eats you 🥗 #NotGivingUp #JustTryHarder #FallDownThreeTimes #GetUpFour #Salad

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

For anyone else interested in Veneroot (and, yes, will totally go over how poison-bush-air-fryer incidents eventually lead to health & weath 🤣😅 — only us Venerooties🤣😅) I’ll be posting more details 😍 in the next couple weeks! 🌾💉🌿💉🍁 #StayTuned #Veneroot #Venerooties #MLM

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Oh my jeeeeZ! Just ran into Kendall (Jenner, yes, but let’s not name names) and after telling her about the amazing opportunities presented by my MLM (just named it Venefroot), she literally decided to go ALL-IN. That’s the wealthiest woman in the world: CHOOSING ME. #Dreamers

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Can you have a pyramid of One? Looking to start my own MLM scheme but I’m worried I might struggle to find my down line. #PyramidsAreTriangles #TriangleOfOne #MLM #DoDeepTweetsMakeMeMultiLevel

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

#IMightNotHaveMoney and #IMightNotHaveMonaco but at least I have the memories of a crazy night and getting dragged kicking and screaming into France.

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Wow. Literally just got kicked out of an entire country because they couldn’t handle ALL OF THIS. Whatevs. #WhoCaresAboutMonaco #ItsBasicallyJustACity

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

My best friend died from a tragic poisonous leaf air frying accident. Anyone willing to help out with some donations for my healing trip to Monaco? #GoFundMyDeadFriend #HealMyHeartBreak

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

I have guests coming over for dinner and realized I’d forgotten to pick up a salad — threw some leaves from the bush outdoors in my air fryer and they taste great! Unethical to serve?? #airfryer #dinnerparty

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Went back to find the man[nequin] in the window and he/it was gone. Feeling lonely tonight... #MissingMyManNequin

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Still can’t stop thinking about this literally all the time... It cost me my job, but I think eventually it will help me find myself. #DoAtMe #ComeAtMe #LosingYourJobToFindYourself

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

This will forever be known as one of life’s great mysteries. #LiveForTheUnknown #EveryDayIsAnAdventure #FridayFeeling #MysteriesKeepMeGoing

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

I get really upset thinking about the poor people who don’t live in LA or the Bay Area, missing out on the quality navel-gazing-time gained by sitting in hours of daily traffic. How could they ever stand a chance at self-improvement?!

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

The silver lining of not believing in your self is that if a Hollywood producer takes a liking to you, you may soon join the hallowed ranks of classics such as The Santa Clause or Tooth Fairy 2. #GrewOutOfBelivingInSanta #GrewOutOfBelivingInMyself

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Just noticed that from the right angles, it sort of looks like the Starbucks logo has a smiling mermaid lady in it. #CleverLogos #DesignWellDone #StarbucksIsBae

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

This will forever be known as one of life’s great mysteries. #LiveForTheUnknown #EveryDayIsAnAdventure #FridayFeeling #MysteriesKeepMeGoing

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Wait... I think it moved — what do you guys think? #PleaseAtMe #ImLonely

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Seriously?? It feels like no one cares that I exist...

[Lin Tawsick @LTawsick]

Stick to your guns. #PokemonNo