Master Lizzy Full Pistola

É tudo mentira!

[Master Lizzy Full Pistola @Lagartone]

O Mito de Sísifo - Albert Camus (1941)

[Slime🐍 @ItsKingSlime]

Erling Haaland’s father, Alfie, reunited with football legend Ronaldo Nazário before Brazil vs Norway and looked back on the time they played against each other in 1997 😳⚽🔥

Ronaldo also pointed out that Brazil has never beaten Norway and admitted he lost both times he faced them 👀🇳🇴

[Bell Brothers @hellobellbros]

Are the birds gonna eat us Mommy?

[TanningChatum @TanningChatumm]

@andrew12la Specifically this fucking scene, so much masking!

[andrew 🦇 @andrew12la]

how the hell did they even do this

[Chairman @LRH_Superfan]

The underlying scenario without the metaphor of being solicited by a prostitute that had sex with your father in the past is honestly a psychosexual nightmare in itself

[Eduz @ZeroeduRM]

Tá de sacanagem porra kkkkk o Brasil já virou uma final de copa e fez 5x2 com um moleque de 17 anos fazendo 2 gols e tu vem perguntar se uma virada em cima do Egito nas oitavas com ajuda da arbitragem é a maior da história das copas? Sério?

[Transporter 🇳🇵 @GuyFawk15833163]

Sabe quando minha opinião em relação ao Messi como pessoa mudou?

Quando percebi q ele sabe e ouve os xingamentos racistas da torcida Argentina e nunca, nunca usou a influência dele pra pedir pra parar. Ele é um cara q teria essa moral. O único da Argentina q teria. Nunca o fez.

[milani @brvnomilani]

revolução cultural + proibição de casas de apostas + estancamento do evangelismo + exílio de bruno formiga + fim da caze tv + flamengo pobre outra vez + regulamentação da internet

depois pensamos nos jogadores pro ciclo de 2030

[Ben McAleer @BenMcAleer1]

So he did a wholesome request for Bellingham’s shirt and then straight into the Gordon exchange? An icon

[luquinhas @luquinha]

só dia desses eu descobri que “pereira nunes” é uma RUA do rj e não o sobrenome do Cerginho

fiquei muito feliz

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat.

Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records.

My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now.

Called the county clerk.

Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty.

Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons?

Me: Yes, but he's a cat.

Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county?

Me: He's a legal cat.

Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption.

Me: He can't file anything. He has paws.

Clerk: You can file on his behalf.

Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat."

Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons."

Me: What's the medical reason?

Clerk: He's a cat.

Me: That's not a medical condition.

Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving.

Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later.

"Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement."

Took the letter to my vet.

Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty.

Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty?

Me: Excellent question. No good answer.

Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten.

Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve?

Vet: On what grounds?

Me: He's a cat.

Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings."

Me: Perfect.

Sent it in. Got another rejection.

"Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court."

My roommate thought this was hilarious.

Roommate: Felix is going to jail.

Me: This is serious.

Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens.

Decided that was actually the only option left.

Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters.

Checked in at the courthouse.

Clerk: Name?

Me: Felix Martinez.

Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat.

Me: I've been saying that for six weeks.

Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption?

Me: I filed three. All rejected.

Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief.

Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation?

Me: Twice.

Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this.

Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me.

Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote?

Me: You tell me.

Supervisor: This is a data error.

Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out.

They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience.

Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry.

Me: Appreciate it.

Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted?

Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats.

Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card.

For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was.

Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud.

Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent.

Roommate: That's what they all say.

Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now.

Fitting end to his legal career.

[cinema brasileiro out of context @outcinemabr]

o legal é que é tanta bizarrice que o cavalo falante nem entra na lista

[Verônica Domingues @dominguesvero]

Acho que o futebol precisava de mais teorias da conspiração assim como no mundo pop… não sei pq ainda ninguém levantou a teoria de que o Neymar do Santos morreu e foi substituído por esse aí

[Aaron West @oeste]

i been watching this on repeat since the full version dropped. it’s such a genuinely amicable moment, everybody’s had that interaction with an older dude who’s cool as hell and just doesn’t give a shit

[Ygor Lima 💫 @YgorLimaOficial]

Quem der 3 toques na bola, sai ! Rs

[cee @teIenovias]

you gotta be an absolute cinephile to be able to point all of these out

[Acyn @Acyn]

Mamdani: By the time a year rolls around, you will have saved more than two days of commuting time. That means breakfast with your family. That means getting home in time for bedtime. It means agreeing with your friends that Egypt was robbed yesterday.

[Nick🇦🇺🇬🇷🇮🇹🇺🇦🇵🇸 @NickAUSGRIT]

There go Americans again confusing the WORLD with AMERICA.

[Bagrescore Brazil @BagrescoreBr]

mataram o cafu