LamplightersShow

the award winning show about spies. Buy tickets here:

[rob delaney @robdelaney]

CNN’s homepage right now. Thank you protesters across the US & the world.

[georgie @getback2thebeat]

I’ve seen this letter on our local FB page from the Totnes Tory MP who has obviously forgotten to remove the cut and paste instructions from Tory party Central office. Just shows how uncaring they are - do feel free to RT #BorisJohnsonMustGo #SackDom

[ALASTAIR CAMPBELL @campbellclaret]

If @BorisJohnson tries ‘suspended pending an inquiry’ tactic, just remember that the Russia report is still not published. Patel inquiry is still ongoing. They did not co-operate fully with the Arcuri inquiry. He is a poor man’s Orban and must not be allowed to get off with it

[LamplightersShow @LamplightersSh2]

@lecarre_news @Waterstones My favourite since A Delicate Truth

[James Melville 🚜 @JamesMelville]

So the UK government have decided that your child’s nanny or your cleaner are allowed to visit your house and you can play tennis or golf with a chum. But your parents are not allowed to visit your house. We are now though the looking glass of a country run by public schoolboys.

[David Lammy @DavidLammy]

Matt Hancock should apologise for telling @DrRosena to 'watch her tone' after asking a perfectly factual question.

This is no way for the Health Secretary to speak to a serving A&E doctor.

[James O'Brien @mrjamesob]

I would’ve defended them if they’d missed the 100,000-a-day target by a bit & owned it. But it’s now the third day of May & they are categorically not doing 100,000 tests a day. They fiddled the figures to secure a single day of positive coverage & our supine newspapers let them.

[Have I Got News For You @haveigotnews]

BREAKING: Matt Hancock hits his 100k-a-day target after getting Priti Patel to read out the number.

[Giants @giantscomedian]

The chart banger the world needs right now...

#WeWillPartyAgain #Fjord #5G

[James Melville 🚜 @JamesMelville]

Well played Denmark 🇩🇰

The Danish Government has become the first to announce that companies that are registered in tax havens won’t be eligible for Coronavirus crisis bailouts.

[B Ezzer @BEzzer3]

But no way will they pick fruit and vegetables for England.

[PoliticsJOE @PoliticsJOE_UK]

"That is a smoking gun." - @peterjukes

In a speech earlier this year, Boris Johnson argues the UK could make a profit by avoiding lockdown.

[Jakub Krupa @JakubKrupa]

Absolutely damning report in tomorrow's Sunday Times:

"Boris Johnson skipped five Cobra meetings on the virus, calls to order protective gear were ignored and scientists’ warnings fell on deaf ears. Failings in February may have cost thousands of lives." https://t.co/81AanvTUmU

[Parody Ken Clarke @MrKennethClarke]

Almost 3 million unemployed and we can't get any of them to pick fruit & veg? Where are all these hard working people who voted for Brexit? Sat at home shaking their heads saying "bloody foreigners coming over here to put food on our plates" probably.

Time for a large whisky.

[Carole Cadwalladr @carolecadwalla]

Media guidelines for NHS Wales. ‘Make it clear to staff there should be no unauthorised interviews given to press/media’ I *really* hope NHS Wales staff ignore this & speak out if they feel they should. Lives depend on it

[DocMike 🌖 @DrMikeFitsz]

@carolecadwalla Dont rely on Priti to do the maths....

https://t.co/bkcw8wVlrc

[Martin Lewis @MartinSLewis]

CONFIRMED: If u left a job after 28 Feb, that old employer can rehire you to furlough u. So if needed ask.

We knew this worked for those made redundant, but Treasury's just confirmed to us, this is allowed for those who left voluntarily (eg for a new job).

Tell those affected

[Carole Cadwalladr @carolecadwalla]

I just really want to understand why UK has uniquely decided to disregard WHO guidance on self-isolation for 14 days. @CMO_England, you must have reasons. Can you please set them down for us so we too can understand?