Lana

associate marriage and family therapist // CA

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

“Psychoanalysis demands a special capacity for candor.” Philip Rieff

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

Thrifted book haul from Beers Books in Sacramento 👏🏻 (never disappoints)

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG @superjamono @AlobhaPatrick To clarify, lies and deceit don’t strengthen a relationship. But repairing after it does. That’s my stance.

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG @superjamono @AlobhaPatrick And it’s after those arguments/conflicts, when a couple is able to work through it, that there’s sometimes more trust in the relationship, it feels even sturdier now, because of what they went through and were able to overcome

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG @superjamono @AlobhaPatrick I think you misunderstood me. I agreed to you stating that avoiding lies and deceit is great for relationships. I guess I believe that people are inevitably flawed and make mistakes, and our relationships are always going to have mini ruptures that require repair.

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG @superjamono @AlobhaPatrick I was not 😌

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG Agree with a lot of that! I say this with a bit of tongue in cheek (outside of the context of an affair), but aren’t we all learning how to not be various degrees of pieces of shit in our relationships? at times hurting each other = the stuff of relationships.

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG @AlobhaPatrick Properly*

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@FrankLeeSG @AlobhaPatrick Relationships are often stronger after ruptures are probably repaired, than if no rupture had occurred in the first place. Lies and deceit aren’t great (duh), but talking through and learning about what led to that can be good for the relationship, even strengthen it

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

- Teri Quatman, Essential Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

“As much as there are techniques to acquire in the art of psychodynamic psychotherapy, there is the heart of the matter that precedes and underlies them all: that we are the bearers of, in Freud’s words, ‘a cure through love”, and our souls need to line up behind this.”

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@nadeemhasanpsyd Thank you!!

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

Very excited to join the team at https://t.co/OqctK8OGdv!

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@proud_penelope Yes!

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

“Ironically, undergoing personal analysis not only facilitates a greater ability to tolerate painful affects and thoughts but also contributes to becoming aware, often with considerable pain and surprise, of the ways in which one is forever vulnerable.”

David I Joseph

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

@AlobhaPatrick being challenged by you feels like a rite of passage on therapy twitter 😂👏🏻 but yes! Personally, in my own therapy, I’ve found that it’s often not anything she’s said but how I experience her presence and what I’m able to accomplish in it, that moves me forward

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

Change in psychotherapy occurs “not in verbal exchanges but rather in a background of the clinician’s attuned interactive affect regulation, a relational context that allows the patient to safely contact, describe, and eventually regulate their inner experience.”

Allan N Schore

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

“The medium of the talking cure involves having people move awareness along a gradient within them from unthought/unknown, to barely detectable, to feelable, to speakable, to elaborate-able, linkable, and ultimately transformable, from unconscious to conscious.”

- Teri Quatman

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

“Attuned listening targets the emotional emanations of the other, whether these emanations match or are discrepant from the narrative the other is speaking, and whether the person we are listening to is aware of their own affective experience or not.”

- Tari Quatman

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

… and transit stealthfully into a ‘why don’t you try this’ stance. Some things may trigger a cascade of (what we don’t recognize as) anxious questioning from us.”

- Teri Quatman, Essential Psychodynamic Psychotherapy

[Lana @LanaaVasilenko]

🧵 “We may find ourselves strangely unable to be with certain states in our patients. Some states might cause us to freeze inside, momentarily emotionally leaving the patient. Some states may catapult us into problem-solving mode, such that we leave the feelings of the patient…