Valerie Macintosh

Lancashire tea lady, happiest when nursing a mug of @LancashireTea. Stop for a cuppa... my urns always bubbling! Tweets and teeth all me own like.

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

💃🪩🤩

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

@PaulKalburgi @NiaVardalos 😍

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

Thou’s been a Twit for five years, (me mother would say longer).
With witty words and rhyming slang,
the thoughts I peddle and ponder.
But this year gone has been the worst, I’ve not felt much like Tweetin’, so here’s to 2021... and here’s to virus beatin’!! 🦠💉💪🏼

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

@amjuster Ta, Chuck!! ☕️🍪

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

🌜Goodnight Cyril. Let’s not meet again. #sixwordstories

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

The #tea for me is @LancashireTea, me first and only vice. Me trotters are dust, I’ve flour on me bust; oh a cuppa right now would be nice! #TaChuck! ☕️🇬🇧

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

@Sian_Rowland Enjoy a lubbly cuppa, chuck! Nowt like it after a long days graft 🇬🇧🍪☕️

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I’m in bed with an edache and something’s not quite right, driftin’ in and out of slumber, my nightie caught alight! 🔥👚😱

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I’ve been livin’ life int’ real world, not tweetin’ for a while... havin’ so much chuffin’ fun me ironin’s quite the pile!

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

Asking a tea lady for her scone recipe is like asking a librarian to divulge the secrets of the Dewey decimal system! #NotTodaySatan

[Victoria Road Chai @VictoriaRoadCC]

#Boxingdaysale Use discount code: BoxingDay! Offer ends Dec 31, 2016. Shop Now! #tea #chai #sale #shoponline #Mississauga #Toronto #chaitea

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

Me husbands gone and left me, hey I'm fillin'up, I'm cryin'. He says he's found someone else... I'm sure he said her name were Brian?!

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

How to use emojis's, in one sentence or three... Cram your tweet with 🍪's... then dunk 'em in your ☕️ !!

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I'm sat 'ere finger knitting, watchin' re-runs of The Bill... I'm craving a bag of chocolate Brazil's... I'd best stick to me Trill!!

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I keep meaning to write you, but I never find the time... If I'm not cleanin' walk-in freezer, I'm slaughterin' a swine! ❄️🐷🔪❄️🐷🔪❄️🐷🔪❄️🐷🔪❄️🐷

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I've handed in me notice... packed up me hats and me cagoules. I've got to make it rhyme now.. hang about... it's April fools!

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I'm back, my urn is bubbling... I've bacon tarts in t'oven. I look across the canteen floor... survey the land I govern.

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

I've been a bit neglectful, cos I'm old... I've not got bitter. It's been 3 months since my last tweet... but it's nowt personal Twitter.

[Valerie Macintosh @LancashireVal]

@TearoomGuide knows no bounds, Maggie love... No bounds! 😉