Lance Shunick

Do whatever makes you happy, the days aren’t coming back

[Midwest Antiquarian @Eric_Erins]

Corn sweat sounds so made up it pisses me off every year it’s disgusting

[blaire @pissshit90001]

When I mess up I just think about how someone went to work one day and did Chernobyl

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

After seeing how our parents handled leftovers, I'm convinced most of the "stomach flu" we had as kids was actually mild food poisoning.

[Unusual Frog @TheUnusualFrog]

POV: The Strait of Hormuz every time the stock market closes

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Would you please not vape your fruity flavor around my kids? my wife and i are raising them organically on Marlboro reds

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Food trucks need to go back to being cheaper than dine in restaurants. Paying restaurant prices to eat on a sidewalk was never part of the deal.

[Hernan Cortes @CyberPunkCortes]

Most people don’t know this, but “Nebraska” is a liminal space.

[rich madrid @richjmadrid_]

Random guy: “It’s a brand new car!”

Bam: “it’s a 96!”

Street football from CKY

[think like a real estate appraiser @ThinkAppraiser]

Just buy two dumb rentals per year that break even and in 10 years you will be richer than 90% of people in your age group

[Moongazer @joeybeastmarket]

The average tick would die of nicotine poisoning if you smoked one cigarette before it bit you. Make sure to take a drag every few minutes on a hike. It’s for your health. You likely only have 6 months of this being effective before nicotine resistant ticks are accidentally released from the national laboratory for preventing ticks from developing nicotine resistance

[Oilfield Rando @Oilfield_Rando]

Ditto health care.

Ditto housing.

Ditto cell phones.

Ditto child care.

Ditto….

[𐌁𐌉Ᏽ 𐌕𐌉𐌌𐌉 @OrevaZSN]

Fox News and Facebook did to our parents exactly what they said video games would do to us.

[steve2bacon, CMT 🥓🍩 @steve2bacon]

the united states as soon as the stock market is closed for the weekend

[👣ℙ𝕖𝕕𝕣𝕠'𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖🇺🇲 @OfAthenry]

"LETS F*CKIN GO!" is basically just Allahu Akbar for white boys

[Bandit Kei 💥 @Coolwednesdays_]

“I need 6 niggas to throw they life away” & 6 niggas responding wit “I will” is frying me

[Trunks @Trunks3008]

Was no one gonna tell me what a masterpiece this is

[skooks @skooookum]

Chest Pain

[Texas2AAttorney @CJGRISHAM]

Client was pulled over because his rental car plate didn't provide a return when a crooked cop ran the plate for no reason. Within 7 minutes, Enterprise confirmed it was valid. Cop decided he was gonna violate Rodriguez and hold my client until drug dog showed up. Dog did two laps, no hit third lap, handler motioned for the dog to respond to justify a search. Client held over two hours in handcuffs while they went through his stuff. Found nothing, of course, because dogs are wrong 75% of the time. Just got him a $25,000 payday for those 2.5 hours. Lesson learned Montgomery, Texas?!

[H Y R O @heyrow]

No CGI. Just Soviet filmmaking.

All four parts of Bondarchuk’s adaptation of Leo Tolstoy’s War and Peace (1966-1967), considered among the best films of all time, are now uploaded in Mosfilm’s YouTube account in glorious and restored 4K.

[Em🎧 @mountainslmao]

How feels seeing dat mf after the longest and scariest hike of your life