Lance Witten

I'm just a boy, standing in front of a social medium, asking its users to like me

[ApexFii 🇺🇸🇬🇭 @fiifi_gh]

Only people who watch key and Peale understand 😆

[Lance Witten @LanceTheWitten]

POV #BafanaBafana #FIFAWorldCup2026 #WORLDCUP2026

[Earth Hippy 🌎🕊️💚 @hippyygoat]

“We are now 716 days into a genocide and yet Israel are allowed to participate in footfall tournaments.
WHY ARE THERE DOUBLE STANDARDS!!!”
-Eric Cantona

[Siv Ngesi @iamSivN]

Very proud to have been part of this ground breaking campaign! Change is BLOODY🩸 near! #joepublic

[Josh @joshpearson180]

Paddy Power are the king of adverts and I won’t be told any different

[jerry @ANerdNamedJerry]

they saying this is the reincarnation of william shakespeare

[Glenn Hoddle @GlennHoddle]

This was such fun doing !!😂. Teddy on the bike at the end kills me !!!!😂😂😂.

[MrksPSLClub @MrksPSLClub]

🚨What kind of disrespect is this? Shoe Shine and Piano against a European Team, yhooo.

We should have taken all Mamelodi Sundowns players to the FIFA World Cup🔥

Mamelodi Sundowns can survive Ligue 1 in France and not be relegated and also survive in Bundesliga.

[Andile Ncube @AndileNcube]

Yerrrr!!!!

It’s not just the finish…look at the entire build up

🔥 🔥 🔥

[COUNCILLOR ROSCOE PALM @RosHariMIA]

#FreePalestine

[Lance Witten @LanceTheWitten]

@JoyfulChronicle @BlueSkye0000 @IOL_Lifestyle @SAPoliceService @lee_rondganger @reneemoodie Thanks for bringing this to my attention. We will investigate these claims.

[Fernando Morales-de la Cruz @FernandoMdelaC]

WEF participants could 'Improve the State of the World' with only US$0.10
https://t.co/FeFMCTHnM5 cc @alexanderdecroo @richardbranson @richardquest @andrewrsorkin @cnbcKaren @annemcelvoy @martinwolf_ @HelenClarkNZ @ariannahuff @MargaretAtwood @wblau @dienekeita #WEF26 #Davos

[Lance Witten @LanceTheWitten]

This just isn’t rugby.
Come to South Africa 🫡
#NFLonNetflix

[iScathulo SePhara 👞 @ISephara]

The fact that White people in New Zealand and Australia are constantly irritated by White South Africans will forever be funny 🤣🤣

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Lance Witten @LanceTheWitten]

Join us tomorrow for the @INMAorg #Africa Audience Development Summit. Register here: https://t.co/hhl58Zcwni

[Aaron Blaise @AaronBlaiseArt]

Wow… 150,000 views in under 48 hours. I’m speechless. ❄️❤️

Thank you all for the incredible support of Snow Bear.
This hand-drawn film was a true labor of love, and seeing it connect with so many people around the world is a dream.

If you haven’t watched it yet, here it is:
👉 https://t.co/n5LrwwFR13

Grateful beyond words.
- Aaron

#animation #indiefilm #family #handdrawn #snowbear #2DAnimation #Artnose

[Patrick Gaspard @patrickgaspard]

I want to be able to praise @abbydphillip for dunking on this ignorant racism. But we all know that the man spouting this stuff doesn’t truly believe it and knows nothing about South Africa. CNN knows this as well. This man is cynically put on for the racial mud wrestling that gets clicks.

[Lance Witten @LanceTheWitten]

@Tammy_Nonganga @DavidMashabela The point is to highlight the ability they have to spin their good governance narrative - if this is not the leadership/government we want, we need to urge voters to go out and prove me wrong 🫡