Stronk Chonk

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

Trying.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@BuschBeer got two whole ass empty beers in my case. What up wit that?!

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@TMobile #contest #tmobiletuesday

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

*context of what your about to read, we’re watching the new season of hand maids tail*
But we should most definitely update the justice system so that convicted rapists punishment is that they become a human piñata for those they victimized.... thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@Walmart you should hire my wife to walk around your store to yell at people to wear mask properly since your current employees are clearly incapable of enforcing this policy.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

Okay hear me out...
Idina Menzel, as Maureen from rent, singing show yourself from Frozen 2.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@realDonaldTrump you’re fired!!!!

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

There’s nothing like anticipating the arrival of a limited addition vinyl only to go plug in your record player and you use the wrong AC cord and it blows the speakers. 🙃 #neckdeep #adai @NeckDeepUK

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

The only conversion therapy that people need is from android to apple.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@PostMalone bro... your music is great. This wine though..... not a good time. #maisonno9

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@jk_rowling Not all people who menstruate are women. Stop excluding trans people.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

*tap tap* *clears throat*
@Target could you stop emailing me saying my bill is past due. I’m aware. I haven’t worked in months so i have no money for you thank to covid. But yes, please continue collecting interest.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

I used to advocate for @Target ... but they have me second guessing now.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

How is it that all i have to do is click two buttons and @Apple will let me defer my credit card payment without any extra interest because of covid. But i have to sit on hold and talk to multiple people to defer my @Target credit card payment and still accrue interest?

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

Fixed it.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

Seeing all these companies pay bonuses or continuing pay during #covid got me feeling all kinds a ways since my unemployment has still been unpaid and I’ve had to borrow money from family to pay my bills.... but I’m going back to work next week without hazard pay.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

I’m in facebook jail for saying white people suck... so I’ve resorted to twitter for social media interaction. #YTpeoplesuck

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

#cuddlepuddle

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@MissaaaRosee Honestly. This is very accurate.

[Stronk Chonk @LanderCofield]

@painfullybasic Bitch... me!!! Do you not remember the skinny pants dance?!?