Fake Lansing BWL

Probably more informative than @BWLComm's real twitter account.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

@benmur09 Nope, not a BWL employee. Just an interested bystander.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

One last piece of advice (unless I think of other advice pieces later): Don't let up. People should be held accountable. Demand it.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

It's been fun. Time to sign off. Hope this made a few of you laugh in an otherwise awful situation. @BWLcomm - screw up again, I'll be back!

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

I made this acct to have some fun & show BWL that social media can be incredibly useful or your worst enemy if you don't understand it

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

To those blaming Peter Lark, how do you explain the fact that there wasn't a single power outage in NYC while he was there? #MindBlown

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

PHOTO: BWL's J. Peter Lark visited 5/3 ballpark in Grand Rapids today to talk about our company's safety record!

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

BREAKING: J. Peter Lark has announced he will be stepping down as as the head of the BWL

's softball team.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

MEDIA: Mr. Lark will not be coming out to speak until you start a "FOUR MORE YEARS!" chant.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

@palmbrau Mr. Serkarian has locked himself in the bathroom and refuses to come out. We cannot comment further on that at this time.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

BWL GM J. Peter Lark will address the media at 4pm via Skype from his villa at the lovely Royal Palm Beach Resort in St. Maarten

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

Thanks to BWL GM Peter Lark for bravely traveling to NYC during the outage to ... uhhh... I don't know. I hate my job. Anyone hiring?

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

Electricity tonight will be generated by our state of the art couch-fired power plant in East Lansing. #GreenPower

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

Those of you still without power: MSU is winning by 35 at halftime.
Those of you with power: shhhhh! They need SOME joy in their lives!

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

BWL GM J. Peter Lark announced the completion* of power restoration efforts today:

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

Photo: BWL General Manager J. Peter Lark steps up to the microphone at today's news conference

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

The BWL would like to wish you a Happy New Year in our own special way

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

We apologize that our Emergency Plan recommends picking up downed power lines with your teeth as a way to impress your friends. Typos happen

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

@SkottyBell @AngelaWittrock Well... ok, but we can only pay you $875 a piece for them. Take it or leave it.

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

We're committed to updating our computer system to better serve our customers. Anyone have a Windows 95 Upgrade disk we can borrow?

[Fake Lansing BWL @LansingBWL]

UPDATE: As of 8pm, the number of houses without power has dropped to ... Oh who cares. Nobody believes anything we're saying anyway