Lar

Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people.

Pun in, 10 dead.

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@50Shades0fMur Tina Fey wishes she could be you

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@50Shades0fMur Pouring one out for a real one tonight

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Fuck a broken foot, all my homies hate a broken foot

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

You have not felt true speed until tipsy on a knee scooter with a broken foot doing 15 miles an hour down a slight decline in a small Midwestern town.

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Fellas, have you ever used a piss bottle? Be honest, I'm tryna see something.

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Where bonveroni at?

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

If I had a nickel for everytime I watched a drunk mother mistake a 40 year old man for her kid from behind last night, I would have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but weird it happened twice

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@50Shades0fMur Having hot friends is a curse

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Anyone know a dude with a mullet who works for balbonies? Asking for a friend. Jonny may lose his job. Its 1:30 am at ray's corner and we don't want that

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Tip your bartenders

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

Reduce reuse recycle

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@fiveheadrach If theseus switches every blue thread with a black one do they remain the same jean? 🤔

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@fiveheadrach It was an act of public good

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

It's real yeeeeeeoouuuuuuuuch hours

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

In the Walmart self checkout in Brookings, SD, watching a 12 year old hold a rgb mechanical keyboard like the Ark of the Covenant

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@fiveheadrach A whole lot apparently

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@50Shades0fMur Merry Christmas Mur

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@fiveheadrach I also know far too much

It's so over

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@50Shades0fMur The curse of always being a bad bitch 😔

[Lar @Lar_Swagener]

@50Shades0fMur Twinsies