Or replaced. But maybe the resentment I have right now fills that gaping hole, but it's slowly eating me from the inside out. But what can I do to shake this fear?
More to follow.......
It's hearing and seeing with none of it mattering. It's the world carrying on with business as usual, but for you it can never be the same again. It's the inability to share your love and without sharing love it deflates to leave a hole in the chest, never to be refilled γ
First was the shock - denial, anger, despair... It takes so long to arrive at acceptance, the final stage the counsellors long to scrawl into their notes. It isn't much of a destination though. It's an empty train station, no people, no trains, nowhere to go. γ
We were supposed to die close together with silver hair and wrinkles on our wrinkles, perhaps I'd have a few years without her, no more. But fate saw fit to take her last year for a reason that should take no man or beast in this day and age. γ
I can remain sane, the thoughts of revenge flooding my brain.
Lonely was once an abstract idea, an affliction of the old. I had her and she had me, each other's insurance policy on life, love and the hereafter. γ
The night provides cover from the misery of the brightness, the sunny days where happiness is everywhere around me.
Even on the most moonlit of nights I blend into the city shadows, staying clear of those pools of yellow light, I need to feel the darkness it's the only way γ
Lars, Then and Now
As a child I used to wake in the night and wish for the sun. The darkness worried me, my imagination supplied many beasts with gruesome faces to lurk beyond the range of my vision. But now I embrace it. γ