Kevin Wang

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

just got a push notification from yelp for the first time in six years; considering they’ve only stayed unmuted this long by laying low they really squandered a chance to promote their soundcloud

[nature @Nature]

Sign up for Nature Briefing for a chance to win a Nature-branded toy to celebrate the Year of the Ox. The perfect accessory for the Lunar New Year! https://t.co/n9Dm9D3rgM

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

for sale: left beef, never pizza’d

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

release the “no kurt russell” cut

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

am legitimately confused what kurt russell adds to big trouble in little china other than a white face to appease the audience of 1980s america

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

being forced to put all of my tiny animal crossing character’s weight into pushing and rotating a stuffed animal on the floor of my comically small living space gives me strong “spongebob powerlifting two stuffed bunnies” vibes

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

@catherine_qqq i know offwhite has shirts with de chirico

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

im doing an innovative new diet backed by years of metabolic research it’s called “eating nothing today but salt and vinegar chips because i forgot to defrost my pork chops and i’d rather die than eat an improperly prepared pork chop”

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

“the platonic ideal of the sushi chef is the grizzly bear: straddling the rapids of the rushing river; using its teeth and claws to grab the freshest of salmon out of the air as they leap, laden with roe and ready to spawn”

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

30-50 copies of wild hogs starring tim allen as bereaved dentist doug madsen and john travolta as lawyer woody stevens

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

is ninja the plural of ninjum

[Academic Competition Federation @acfquizbowl]

ACF representative Caroline Mao (@northcarolines) spoke to ACF Regionals 2020 head editor JinAh Kim (@JinAhKim7) about head editing, taking on challenging projects, diversity in quizbowl, and more. Read about it here: https://t.co/Z4BxNrZ6ZR

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

update:

the fools at the cincinnati airport don’t allow true quote-string local parts in their emails, instead putting up the facade of rfc 5322 compliance by allowing leading-lagging quote pairs

they are no longer a fun fact, and are instead an un-fun fact

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

fun fact alert
fun fact alert

the cincinnati airport free wifi accepts emails with quote-string local parts e.g. ‘’@gmail.com

fun fact alert
fun fact alert

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

@wenchboss i once saw a sculpture that was literally a metal couch in the middle of a room and really that has motivated many of my fears

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

there’s a special kind of fear associated with sitting on benches in art museums

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

ancient greek artisans out here painting mythological scenes so confusing that it takes a master’s degree in classical mythology to figure out what’s happening

“for this one herakles needs to be putting triton in a headlock. ideally the action should be unintelligible”

“gotcha”

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

fitness more like fittin’ this stent into my atherosclerotic vena cava so i don’t suffer a major cardiac infarction ha ha hahaha haha hahahah hahahahaha ha

[Kevin Wang @LastNameWang]

my eagerness to eat the cold chicken nuggets that await me at home reminds me that i am scarcely above the slime i consume