Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody)

Now booking for State Fairs, but will accept county. Can't mount a comeback because I never left.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Was going to dye my head hair red, my lip hair white, and my chin hair blue, then realized I have no head hair. Back to the drawing board

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Freedom isn’t free, unfortunately, neither is the Grand Slam Breakfast at #Denny’s, even for a celebrity like me. Now singing God Bless The USA over the dish machine.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Thinking about offering #Lizzo an opening slot on my Piggly Wiggly parking lot tour.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Really wish I had written Country Roads Take Me Home

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Saw Cardi B singing the National Anthem once and my voice came out.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Was gonna cover “Don’t Stop Believing “ until I got to the line “ For a smile they can share the night”. Godless filth.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Apparently Pat Boone is also alive. Really confused why he never responded to “we should tour together”

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Thinking about changing my name to L Geezy so the youth will find me cool.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

I am boycotting Kenny’s Karaoke Pit. They had God Bless The USA credited to Anonymous.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

Once toured with Zeppelin, then they found me hiding in their toilet. Spent the rest of the tour performing at a truck stop, until they kicked me out.

[Lee Greenwood, the last real American (parody) @LastParody]

I am not dead, that is Pat Boone. I understand the confusion