Bro Chat

We are four college roommates and this is some of the shit we say after midnight

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'This Buffalo Wild Wings is just gonna be a giant cork in my asshole. In a good way.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

Person 1-- 'Some guy just tweeted that there were 73 people at his house.'
Person 2-- 'Only in Mexico...'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'Ya know... I bet some Mormon guy was just chillin one day and wondering what to do with all his wives and that was how Subway got started.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'This is the lowest I've ever been. I woke up, my voice is gone, I sprained my knee and I wasn't wearing any pants.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'I got so drunk last night that I actually cried over spilled milk.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'One does not simply snapchat with people of the same sex if you're a guy.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'If I was your dad, I would give you a toaster and a hairdryer to play with in the bath.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'Wow... That sounded like a seacow having an orgasm.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'Oh, sorry dude. I just totally got distracted by your side-boob right there.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

Person 1 and 2-- 'Assorted whale noises and walrus grunts.'
Random Person-- 'Shut up! You're in a library!'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'North Korea can suck my 'Merican dick!'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'North Korea, chill the fuck out before we go over there, tear your head off and shit Manifest Destiny down your collective neckhole.'

[Drunken Yoda @Drunken_Yoda]

Woefully inadequate, this public library's porn collection is.

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

"Being in the womb is probably trippy as hell...you are just floating in there like FUUUCCKKKK"

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

@_SurprisedPat_

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'When I changed the size of all my periods and semicolons and my term paper gained 2 pages I fucking jizzed!'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

Person 1 "Dude there coming back I don't want to interrupt!!" Person 2 "Whats the problem? They're not fucking down the hallway?"

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'A five person sex-ile must be a Guiness World Record or something.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

Person 1-- 'Quick hit that closey-doorey button!'
Person 2-- 'That's the open door button ya dumb shit.'

[Bro Chat @LateNightBros]

'During the prayer I just kinda sat there and bowed my head. Is that kosher?'