Elon Musk lies in bed casually scrolling through X. Suddenly he snaps upright:
"Oh no! Space is a vacuum!"
Sweating in panic, he calls his team. "Cancel the data centre satellites immediately! I'm about to waste billions!"
"Why didn't anyone at SpaceX think of this?"
Police in Belfast have come out in some force tonight as armoured Land Rovers and water cannons are used in the hope they subdue the anger of local people.
People are so angry, I'm not at all convinced this will work.