If somebody tells you they’re suicidal, don’t immediately make their pain about everyone else. For once, make it about THEM.
Ask what hurts.
Ask what they need.
Ask how you can help them stay safe.
People love to preach “mental health matters”…
Right up until someone’s symptoms become inconvenient.
Then suddenly it’s attention seeking,
being dramatic, or making excuses.
Support isn’t real if it only exists when it’s easy.
One day, you may miss your mother in ways you never expected. You may miss her voice, her presence, the little things you once overlooked. She may not have been perfect, and your relationship may have had its struggles, but none of us know how much we’ll long for someone once they’re gone. Cherish what you can, make peace where you can, and appreciate the time you still have.
The older I get, the more I understand why people disappear into gardening, baking, reading, and long walks. Not because life got boring. Because peace became valuable.
Trauma isn’t just “bad fucking memories.”
It’s: forgetting whole chunks of your past.
It’s: reacting like your life’s in danger when it’s not.
It’s: exhaustion after nothing even happened.
It’s: never feeling safe, even in the safest of places.
Stop telling people to “just move on.”
Some of us are rebuilding our whole nervous system.
So fuck you.
Luigi Mangione pleaded guilty today; one of the things he said was:
“I emailed United Healthcare’s leadership, posing as an investor managing $58 billion. Unlike my other experiences with the company, I was contacted back within 1 hour.”
Damn.
NO ONE TALKS ABOUT THE FUCKING ANGER THAT HITS WHEN YOU realize how much of your life was spent carrying everyone else's emotions while nobody ever cared about yours.
Acceptable cholesterol was 300 in 1960. Then they moved the goalposts to 240. Then 200. Every time they lower the number, another 50 million Americans suddenly “need” a drug. That’s not medicine. That’s marketing. Pfizer made $125 billion selling Lipitor.
A woman at work announced she was filing for divorce.
Nobody asked why.
One guy immediately laughed and said,
"Let me guess... he forgot your anniversary?"
She smiled and replied,
"No."
"He forgot our marriage."
The room went quiet.
She explained that he never cheated.
Never hit her.
Never even yelled.
He just slowly stopped participating.
She made every appointment.
Remembered every birthday.
Planned every holiday.
Handled the bills.
Scheduled the repairs.
Bought gifts for his family.
Packed the kids' lunches.
Booked their vacations.
When something went wrong, everyone called her.
One day she realized she wasn't married.
She was managing an adult.
Then she said something I haven't forgotten:
"I didn't leave because he did one terrible thing."
"I left because he made me do a thousand small things alone."
Half the office nodded.
The other half looked confused.
And honestly...
I think that's why so many divorces surprise the person who wasn't paying attention.