Laura Wooding 🦕

“Do you know how long it takes to peel a human?”

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Okay it’s been 362 days, but I’ve come back on here to simply say: Although I would NEVER propose to be #TeamGreen you’ve got to admit that Aegon has fabulous comedic timing #HouseofTheDragon

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Omg, happy birthday hun 🎂

[How Old Is Henry? @howoldishenry]

Were he alive today, King Henry VIII would be 532 years old exactly. Happy birthday Henry 🎉

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

@Ron_Fleasley Yeah definitely. I feel like unsolved cases always are though. It’s the mystery of not knowing that makes them so interesting

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Okay so I haven’t tweeted in decades. But WE FOUND OUT WHO THE SOMERTON MAN IS?????? What fantastic news!

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

I’m watching a horror film and listing stuff on Vinted. Vinted is definitely the worst part of this situation.

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

It is absolutely freezing in my house, so I’ve put a jumper on Fifi. Now her fiery rage is keeping us all nice and toasty

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Mabel in her natural habitat…..direct sunlight. With a bit of light reading 😂

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Fucking hell 2022 NOT POT ROAST! Why can’t we just have nice things???? I don’t even know if Pot Roasts Mom has Twitter but I hope she knows how much we all love her and that little taxidermy cat 😭

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

@PamsLawBook Has she tried adding her on Facebook?

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Just asked the Sky man if he was on piggy dippin TikTok. He was not 😂

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

I like to think there’s a special place in hell (maybe a floor up from GP receptionists) for people who text into the radio saying “can we have another Christmas song?”

Like it’s not all we’ve listened to for the last six weeks.

Sickos

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

@mitchie66_jones I fear my bathroom isn’t big enough 😂😂

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Me thinking a ten tier frilly dress would be amazing for Xmas day: 😘✌🏽

Me trying to iron said dress:

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

I was painting a little boy’s nails before at my niece’s birthday party and he said to me “Which one of these children is yours?” And I said “None of them sweetheart” and he went “Well why are you here then?”

I’m asking myself the same question, little buddy 😂

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Watching a TikTok about a snake and a bit of my hair fell out of my bun onto my back. Heughhhhh

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

I made it to FOUR MINUTES before the end of #ImACeleb before the winner got spoiled. Okay perfect. 🤦🏽‍♀️

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Aldi have changed the recipe of my favourite crisps and I don’t like them anymore 😭😭😭 Why do bad things happen to good people?

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

Do we think there’s a special place in hell for GPs receptionists, or do we think hell EXCLUSIVELY consists of GPs receptionists?

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

@EvesSharon Thanks Sharon! Xxx

[Laura Wooding 🦕 @Lauraodactyl]

How can Noodle the pug have a weekend off when it’s my birthday tomorrow??? How can I not know if my birthday is a bones day??? How am I supposed to live laugh love in these conditions?