$BullyBaby

Phillippians 4:13.
Self-medicated.
moderately educated.
Never depreciated.

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

What's the dress code for the RNB Tour? #rnbtour

[𝕭𝖊𝖓𝖓𝖎𝖊✨ @Bennieeexyz]

I accidentally gaslit my entire family when I was 9.

And they're still falling for it.

When I was a kid, my grandma used to babysit me during summer breaks.

One afternoon she was making bacon for lunch.

She threw it in a pan, turned on the stove, and sat down on the couch to wait.

A few minutes later she was asleep.

Completely out.

Meanwhile, I was staring at that bacon like a starving wolf.

So I did what any responsible 9-year-old would do.

I ate all of it.

Every last piece.

Then I looked at the empty pan.

And immediately realized I had a problem.

My grandma was going to wake up expecting bacon.

I had evidence to dispose of.

So I left the pan on low heat with the grease still inside and went back to watching cartoons.

About twenty minutes later she woke up.

Grandma: Oh no.

Grandma: The bacon!

She rushed into the kitchen.

Then stopped.

The pan was empty.

No bacon.

Nothing.

Just a little grease.

She looked confused.

Then looked at me.

Grandma: Where's the bacon?

And before my brain had time to stop me, I said:

Me: I think you left it cooking so long it just... disappeared.

Grandma: What?

Me: Yeah.

Me: It fried away.

Grandma stared into the pan.

Then back at me.

Then into the pan again.

And somehow...

She believed me.

Not only did she believe me.

She told the rest of the family.

For years.

Apparently "if you leave bacon on the stove too long, it'll completely cook itself out of existence."

Nobody questioned it.

Nobody challenged the science.

The story spread.

Fast forward more than 20 years.

I was at a family cookout recently when someone yelled:

"Hey, don't leave the bacon unattended."

Another person immediately replied:

"Yeah, remember what happened to Grandma's bacon?"

And that's when I realized something.

My entire family still thinks bacon can evaporate if you cook it long enough.

I have considered telling them the truth.

But at this point, the lie has been alive longer than some of my cousins.

I think it deserves a chance to keep going.

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

What is going on with Google?

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

You let a man fk multiple times during filming of a dating show and you didn't win the show??

[Softboy @softboywin]

We cannot all be trying to head home at 5:00PM. We have to start going home in groups

[S.🎧 @1ssve]

corporate jobs should get spring break too

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

Lets play Uber Eats Roulette and see who's fucking order I get thats not mine today!

#ubereats #wrongorder

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

Has anyone been able yo get into the NUL Virtual Career Fair
#NUL #nationalurbanleague

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

@ultabeauty yall did me wrong! How i been in the queue 30mins before time and still aint get a ticket????

[THE GODMUTHA ✦ @THEG0DMUTHA]

Hurricane Chris Performing “Ay Bay Bay” & “Halle Berry” takes me alllllll the way back 🤧

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

@RishiTea Gang. Y'all been holding it down this cold&flu season. The Poached Pear and Cranberry Yuzu are top tier!

[EO @_ezeokolorie]

OMG I GOT THE JOB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🤩😶😆😭

Literally just before the year ends! NO WAY. GOD IS GREAT OMG😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️!!!!
https://t.co/TBnXi9CjAj

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

Wearing Versayce in heaven.
#AllsFair #allsfairhulu

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

@sassybella53 @ALlENSUP3RSTAR W2 from 6

[q @sxarlights]

why did ava dress as Darth MA for halloween 😭😭 #AbbottElementary

[Dona Sarkar @donasarkar]

Okay this is HAPPENING:

👀 Over a 1,000 hackers
🤩 People building Agents for Good or Agents for Biz
😹 The Fate of CodePhelia as our soundtrack tonight

Let’s go #PPCC25 hackers…this is the biggest gathering of AI Agent building that I have ever been to.

Winners announced tomorrow morning!

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

Did anyone else get the hot sauce? #ppcc25

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

@roseco1oredgirl When he said "Thank you Jessie..."🥲🥲🥲

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

@BeeAngelB Currently boohoo-ing

[$BullyBaby @LaurelCrownd]

@HamWangu Ugh... I bawled