Laura♡

Drake feelings with a Kanye attitude

[Makay @MaKaylaMaShelle]

whenever i say im “ugly” i just mean I’m ugly compared to when I’m super cute. I’m never saying I’m UGLY...because no.

[Danya @dxxnya]

if he tells you no, use your princess voice, look him in the eyes and suck his fingers. that’s actually how thomas jefferson made the louisiana purchase with napoleon

[dana @kasampaguita]

I told Sam I wanted to go on a date and he said there’s this new French-Italian place downtown called “Le Petit Cesár” that has $5 pizzas and crazy-good bread n I was really excited until I realized he was talking abt little caesars and anyway I’m single now

[Tenderism @Meck0]

This on you... what grown man doesn’t let his mother keep his passport

[Kyle 🌱 @KylePlantEmoji]

Professor: most of you won't pass this course

Me: cool so you're like, Real shitty at your job

[hannah harris @hanugget]

*pats my own shoulder* it’s gonna be okay dumb ass

[bass mom @b1tchposse]

Hey sorry I didn't answer your text, I've been second guessing my whole career path, debating all of my friendships and trying to catch up on 20 sum years of sleep loss.

[Post Malone @PostMalone]

still sad

[Laura♡ @LaurraShovlin]

@jmeidlinger It’s only gotten worse since you’ve been gone lmao

[kal. @KallieLeigh]

When you don’t get past the “talking” stage. https://t.co/1JXLU5RNR7

[lil arab @sweatyhairy]

a lot of ppl think the dopest part of hibachi is when the chef does the onion train, but it's actually when ur dad pulls u to the side in the parking lot and tells u he hasn't been able to make it work with ur mom and they're getting a divorce

[Eric Hillman @EHillman12]

me: hey you’re cute wanna go out
her: no
me: would you do it for a scooby snack
her:
me:
her:
me: would you do it for two scooby snacks
her:
me:
her: rokay

[nick @nickhansonMN]

dudes be 5'7" talkin 'bout "i love short girls😍" stfu you are a short girl