#OnlyTachlis

#OnlyTachlis (in 140 characters or less)

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Gabbai: is there a kohen?
Random yisraeli: ya im a kohen
G: name?
Ry: aron ben baruch bimkom
G: aron ben boruch BIMKOM ..HAKOHEN

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Gv this has been fun and all but i think im done thank for all the likes and RTs etc. U guys are awsome. Be in touch
signing off
-@LavDavka

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Harry rabbi decides to base weekly drasha on the topic of "black lives matter" in honor of parshas veyeishev "the parshah of dreams"
#MLK

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

*vaping in the shuir room*
"Rebbes Coming!!! Quick Act Natural"!!!!!
*everyone strikes the most unnatural poses ever*

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

im that guy that will burst out laughing in middle of an awkward silence about s/t that happened yesterday

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

internet attention span: open a new tab.....forget why

[𝔤𝔬𝔬𝔡 𝔳𝔦𝔟𝔢𝔰 𝔬𝔫𝔩𝔶 🥂🇺🇲🏴 @Rogatchover]

Somebody should go on Ami's BizTank thing and pitch them the idea of a Jewish Shark Tank.

It would be so meta, they would have no clue what the hell to do.

Like BizTank-ception.

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Taking a multiple choice test:
Options A...B....C...D
Me: well i havent had C in a while so ill go with that

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

I have a theory that they were only mesakin the bowing in shmone esrei to inform the chazzan where his rosh hayeshivah is holding

[Zvi Hershcovich @cholentface]

KASHRUS LIFE HACK: Any animal can have split hooves if you own a jackhammer.

[Mendy Pellin @MendyTV]

@MosheFragin I'm actually at the office... nice and quiet here :-)

[chayav inish @PurimAllYear]

"Hide the Torahs! The Greeks are coming!"
"Hide the phones! The Rosh Hayeshiva is coming!"
And u thought history didnt repeat itself...

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

All vape websites should have an option called "bochur order" where they stuff the box with food so you can ship to yeshivah undetected .

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

New fresh off the press sholo mashiv trying to be smooth after being asked on a toisfos he dosnt know ..... shtelling no shaychis pshatim

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

All vape websites should have an option called "bochur order" where they stuff the box with food so you can ship to yeshivah undetected

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Whoever started tachnun is evil, you expect a bunch of tired bochrim to put there heads down and not to fall asleep?

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Admit it you've waited in a hiding spot to scare somone and then left cuz they were taking to long

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Im sure meilech kohn was pretty dissapointed the first time he went to the "coke" factory .... Probably not what he had in mind @meilechkohn

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

I feel like twitter is like those signs you see outside a church
You gotta get the mssg thru but with a limited amount of characters

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

Attention Fat Bochrim: weight loss tip:
Step 1: turn head to left
Step 2: turn head to right
Done!
Repeat exercise whenever offered food.

[#OnlyTachlis @LavDavka]

As a bochur the only way to fall asleep is to pretend to be sleeping