Pony Rigatoni

Litigator by day. Disappointment to my parents by night.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@THEJaxEsq Defense was right to ask to dismiss juror. Prosecution erred in opposing. Gives def a straight chance on appealable issue. If pros was confident, they replace the juror with alternate. Gut says it’s 11-1 to def. judge will hold out all hope to get a verdict in rt mistrial

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

If the world economy transfers from the gold standard to a caperberry standard I would presently be the richest person in the world based on my salad.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@THEJaxEsq Pre trial. Building Steam With A Grain Of Salt. DJ Shadow. Post trial. Triumph. Wu Tang.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

I’m Zima and Jolly Ranchers actually taste good old.

Not matcha is delicious old.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@DietCoke_Esq I’m checking my mail thrice a day now

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

Me: What did you do today?

Mom: Went to a grape farm. It was fun.

Me: Do you mean a winery?

Mom: Yes yes. I told you it was fun.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

4th of July leftover breakfast of a hot dog and tater tots. Real toddler meal here.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

I just burned the roof of my mouth on a green bean.

Summer is ruined.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

Please stop emailing me, clients.

Love you, but I have a cocktail in 98 degrees to drink.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

Just witnessed this atrocity.

Pro se Defendant: Every judge here is corrupt and you need to recuse yourself.

Judge: I’ll not have you impugn the Court.

Def: I’m impugning you.

Judge: Noted. Denied.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

At the beach watching this absolute legend crush his fifth hard boiled egg followed by two Miller Lites in under ten minutes. Spectacular.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@DietCoke_Esq Insane behavior.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@legalstufff You got this.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@DietCoke_Esq Ooooof. This joy would last a fortnight

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

I’m your huckleberry.

[Matt Lindner @mattlindner]

Anyways, Malort is attempting to break the world record for most people taking a shot of Malort at the same time on August 30. Want to be a part of it? Details here: https://t.co/RI9j2KOD8p

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

My mom has casually hung out with five serial killers. This I knew.

Today, I learned she cannot pronounce the word “ambiance”. She was describing her garage floor.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

OC emailed every other partner at my firm today that I’m “too aggressive”.

Folks. That email is going on the fridge.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

Wine.

[grace spelman @GraceSpelman]

italians are so sick with it. what’s in the water over there

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

@ved1024 I didn’t see the add on before quoting. This is 100% correct.

[Pony Rigatoni @LawofTheseus]

1. Outdoor shower after beach with a cocktail.

There is no second only Zuul.

[V @ved1024]

Shower after all day at the beach and then get into bed with just a light sheet while hearing the ocean. This is THE shower and THE nap.