Lawrence Miles ⚫

A riddle wrapped in a bap hidden under a duvet.

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

"The Problem with Jeremy Corbyn": about what really happened to British politics, what we *think* happened, and what we *remember* happening. (1/6)

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

I. CAN'T. DO. THIS. ANY. MORE. KILL ME. I'M TOO MUCH OF A COWARD TO STAB MYSELF MY FUCKING SELF. KILL ME.

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

During which time I told the only person I genuinely love and car about that I'm a piece of shit and deserve to die HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

I spent two hours crying, yes I've been crying, yes I've been fucking crying, I don't know anything HA HA HA YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT HA HA HA

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

YOU IDIOT

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

YOU FUCKING IDIOT

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

HA HA HA HA HA YOU FUCKING IDIOT

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

no I don't I'm clinically paranoid and depressed I had no idea and I thought I was being threatened

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

HAHAHAHAHA IT'S A PARODY ACCOUNT DON'T YOU SEE

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

@paddy_magee "You reckon they let this fella back on Twitter, then?"

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

@fireh9lly @DrRobertZands I don't know who @DrRobertZands is. But if you've got over 4,000 followers, and you copy a popular tweet word-for-word, and you only get 4 retweets from it... then you're rubbish even at being a plagiarist.

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

Amazing to think that the myth of Britain as "the plucky island-nation who stood alone and beat Hitler" is the thing which has finally sunk us.

75 years on, it turns out that we were the biggest single losers of World War Two. Every other country managed to move on from it.

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

@ithayla @ehorakova Similarly: the dodo was a pigeon that landed on an island with no land predators, evolved to waddle around instead of wasting all that energy on flight, and then when land predators turned up again -

[Lawrence Miles ⚫ @Lawrence_Miles]

@MsPackyetti In the first draft of the first James Bond movie script, "Doctor No" was a monkey.