Max Lehner

I work on boats

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

I give grumpy glances to spring-breakers in Publix. Yup, I'm old

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Did they just have the audacity to make a Spongebob halftime reference???

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

A 16 ounce Wawa fruit smoothie (vegan) has 117 grams of sugar. More than 3 cans of Coke. My gurd

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Father Christmas, give us your money

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Now that we're getting a big spikey border wall, I'm pumped for some kind of Mexican Helm's Deap situation

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Describing Hyde as "up and coming" is no different than saying "no experience as a manager" @Orioles

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Just remember that when you meet the love of your life on Tinder, odds are the love at first sight thing happened when the guy was on the toilet

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

I argue that even though indoor leagues don't allow direct free kicks, a direct free kick is tougher indoor than outdoor #Blastthoughtfortheday

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

I worry that the world is a dark and sick place. Then I re-watch this video https://t.co/dVt8RJHgdF @SickNutsko @lightningmiked @Wersteda

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Things that can't clinch a championship: money, politics, 50+ Jason Aldean fans

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Trump-Putin-Ovi 2020! #ALLCAPS Three-man ticket. Crosby banned from the country. God bless America, God bless Tom Wilson

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Does Trump invite Smith-Pelly to visit? We'll see. Does he invite Ovi? You bet your motherland-lovin' ass he does

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Pro sports don't belong in Vegas @GoldenKnights. Hope you enjoyed your garbage fairytale

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

I want to tweet my support for the Caps, but all I can think of is Vegas shooting jokes #ALLCAPS Tom Wilson for Pres

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

I crack up every time Pierre says Devante

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

The @GoldenKnights intro is like a shitty Medeival Times gimmick. Do I get a free chicken leg for watching this garbage?

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Tom Fuckin Wilson for President. #ALLCAPS That's old-school pre-lockout hockey

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

It's a red white and bloodbath #ALLCAPS

[Max Lehner @LaxMehner]

Future great-grandchild: "Do you remember Y2K and the new millennium?" Me: "Nope, I only remember Fuel, the greatest 90's rock band to miss the 90's"