LazyBartender

I am the LazyBartender and these are my Tweets.

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Whenever I’m at the bank and there’s glass between me and the teller, I like to line up my reflection to make it look like they’re wearing my beard and glasses. #whoareyouwhoami

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Literally every single #Queen song hits me emotionally.

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Seriously. If you eat the left Twix first, you’re a MONSTER!! #eternalhatred

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

I find it hard to stay awake during movies. #oldmanonasofa

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

How often are you supposed to wash your jacket? I just found an 8 yr old movie ticket stub in my front pocket. #theincredibleburtwonderstone

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

I’ve never seen The Rocky Horror Picture Show. #youcanhatemenow

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking an Outcast by Saint Michael's Mead at @cobbleandspoke — https://t.co/K5hOEQJlLa

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking a Trips by @ingeniousbeer/@Trippinganimals @ Ingenious Brewing Company — https://t.co/Q67SdWrmXr

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking a King Sue by Toppling Goliath Brewing Co. @ Willowlake Jogging Trail & Duck Pond — https://t.co/AjtOvGEkq4

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Does anybody else shrink down in their seat when they fuck up and get honked at while driving? #disappear

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking a Dumb Dumb: Blackberry Cobbler by @ingeniousbeer @ Ingenious Brewing Company — https://t.co/GKXde5rL0H

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

The Adventure Begins … #theiaandthebeard #theiagrace @ Willowlake, Houston, Texas https://t.co/hkzFcI6GYr

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Having a baby girl instantly softens you!! ❤️❤️❤️ #TheiaGrace @ Children's Memorial Hermann Hospital https://t.co/aqR3F7eQOV

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

I’m on this weird au jus kick lately. #doesthismakemelookFrench

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

I often spend a large portion of my day wandering around HEB parking lots because I forgot which shopping cart stall I parked by. #iseverycaraNissan

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Be like Dolly! 💁🏼‍♀️ #dollywould @ The Russell https://t.co/z1C4PvhK5U

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking a Welcome To Earth! by @falseidolbrew at @FalseIdolBrew — https://t.co/gaNYO3JfY6

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking an American Horse Pirate by Turning Point Beer at @TPBEERS — https://t.co/sgIafg6LhK

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking a Texikaner - Black Lager by @pegasuscitybrew @ Pegasus City Brewery — https://t.co/xhGHEWGJap

[LazyBartender @Lazy_Bartender]

Drinking a Superfortress by @mpbeerco at @mpbeerco — https://t.co/yAhcvmMBvo