LeFrenchTiger

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Dessine-moi un mouton! A big, fat, tender, slow-footed, slightly twitchy mouton. #MintJelly

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Paris now ignores her erstwhile source of terreur. Must I hiss until the kibbledish of my celebrity is refilled? #NotSayinImJustSayin

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Thanks for the RT, @MyKittiesDontJudge. In the great cleansing, you will be the last I devour. #NoteToSelfWhiskerLickinsUnderSink

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Do you fear me? Or do you not rather fear the tiger inside, hopelessly enmeshed in the twine ball of meaninglessness? #Kardashian

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Monstres insidieux! You have somehow painted a new white stripe on my back and set a live skunk to pursue me. #PutARingOnIt

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

It cannot surprise you that I have come to Eurodisney, mom ami. Surely they too can smell your fear. #MyWhiteWhale

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Gendarmes, your hunt may be over but mine has not even begun. Do you feel my insatiable stare? #OoohYouHaveTreats!

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Very funny, @IconicAutograph. Très, très drôle. I am not some costumed lapdog but an indomitable force of nature's savagery. #AlsoNotObese

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Very funny, @andyjb19. Très, très drôle. I am not some bouncy Disney-tigre but an indomitable force of nature's savagery. #NotFatJustHusky

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

"Faintly", monsieur @tomdixon02? We can be honest, n'est-ce pas? You look like a Paris policeman. Also, do you have any tuna? #GodIAmSoFat

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

I fear no human language, @Franck_Neagery. Well, except German, that's pretty scary. And Urdu. That one's fucked up.

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

@C4Gogglebox Also, do you have Le FancyFeast in your wretched England? Also, je ne suis pas OBESE! #ThyroidIssue

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

@C4Gogglebox British Gogglebox-fanatiques, do you not realize I am this moment preparing to cross La Manche to devour you all? #CanISwim?

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Non, @sts10 and @darth . . . Je continue to elude the helicopters et tranquilizer darts! Also, I am NOT an obese housecat. #C'estGlandulaire

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Do you mock me, @shirleman? Do I amuse you? Or are you not rather terrified that I am still AT LARGE!

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

I am here, @djthproductions, @LyndaKinkade and @holmescnn! If you would know fear, suivez-moi!

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

I am here, @LizzaLovve! If you would know terreur, follow moi!

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

I can see what's going on here. I am not some Clouseau bumbleur. In your zero-sum worldview, my fame makes you feel less than. #Jalousie

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Écoutez, tout le monde . . . I am not OBESE! Ah, merde! Who am I kidding? I want only to lose myself in cookie dough. #InsulinComa

[LeFrenchTiger @LeFrenchTiger]

Do you think that I count the days? There is only one day left, always starting over: given to . . . meow squirrel! #Mouthfeel