Gerald B. Gardner

The Father of Modern Witchcraft serving Gardnerian Snark | SATIRE/PARODY 🔮🌒🌕🌘

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

With costs of energy predicted to go through the roof, one will now be charging if one is invoked in your ‘fun’ ritual again. The charge will be doubled if you do it when one is sleeping, triple if Doreen is not pleased about it (which, let me tell you, is most of the time).

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

One was joking about the Shamanism bit.

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

One will be deleting one’s X/Twitter account to save one’s remaining joy. Doreen will be pleased.

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Goodness Gracious Doreen ❤️

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

@blgrssNbrmstn 🔥

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Guess who’s back

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Well done to one and all for making it to this Lammas. One almost gave up. It might be in the Gods we trust, but lately it’s in a fine selection of pills courtesy of the Doctor. Doreen is extremely pleased. #Glorious

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

@MarshallWSL

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Who is the best spell caster? Well, Doreen of course. One’s wrist flick isn’t as good these days.

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

WhatsApp from Sybil Leek: “The Great Goddess is a snacc.” #Awkward

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

What is this witchcraft? The Australian federal election results are a win for the climate and Speedos. #glorious #auspol

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

PSA: all the magic in the world will not save you from stupidity.

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

No, one did not post a Beltane post yesterday because one was busy in the canoodle with Doreen all day.

Happy Beltane, my glorious Wiccans.

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Text from Silver RavenWolf: “Well, well, well.”

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Vive la France! Fascists are plonkers. #Glorious

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

https://t.co/iiuCz7x0Jo Doreen is very pleased about this. #Glorious @witchJuan

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

How are we all doing in this bizarre world? Still alive? Doreen is making pies, good old fashioned steak and ale ones. Her secret recipe of course. It’s the only thing that keeps one going. #Glorious

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

This European Wiccan Stands With Ukraine 🇺🇦 #Glorious

[Gerald B. Gardner @LeWiccanJesus]

Message from Silver RavenWolf: “You love my poppets. Don’t lie. You love them.”