Sarcasm League

I'm not stupid. I'm just too lazy to show how smart I am.. Me, Sarcastic? Never.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

*Picking up my kid from school in 20 years* Me: Yo shawty leggo. Kid: Please no. Me: Stop hating YOLO. Kid: You're embarrassing. Me: Swag.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Texts that piss me off: 1. "Yeah" 2. "Oh" 3. "Yup" 4. "Lol" 5. "Haha" 6. "K" 7. "Nope" 8. "Chillin" 9. "Naw" 10. "Send me a pic"

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

That awkward moment when you change your facebook status to “single” and your ex likes it.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Things Invented By Women - https://t.co/4LvRCe5qVS

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Beautiful Abandoned Places - https://t.co/EPlsLwdcHh

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

I like to smile at people who don't like me because I'm an asshole.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Child Prodigies - https://t.co/pJ3pFie9hO

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Improve Your Flirting Abilities - https://t.co/b3j7cRfZuL

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Inexpensive Ways to Spend Time with Your Friends - https://t.co/HBRY6hQz80

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

That awkward moment when you are trying to throw a grenade at someone and Bruno Mars pops up!

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

If someone texts "K", just reply with "L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z".

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

That awkward moment when you shout out the wrong answer in class with confidence.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

I open a text and mentally respond then forget to actually respond.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Google must be a woman, it knows everything.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WANT LONGER WEEKENDS ???????????????????????????????????????

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Flirting- Normal people: "Hey whats up cutie ;))" Me: "Soo.. You like breadsticks?"

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

I'm sick of bitches bitching about other bitches being bitches, bitch.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Refreshing Twitter every 5mins without any reason.

[Sarcasm League @LeagueSarcasm]

Life's a bitch, Because if it was a slut, It would be easy.