Jared

astrologer and spreadsheet sorcerer 1/3 of @tripliciteapod

doing my best to take advantage of Jester's Privilege

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Just saying whatever pops into my little brain

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Sorry I can't come to work today, I have Karmic Emotional Soul Trauma caused by Uranus

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

@dejathejovian Very Modern of you

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Like clockwork, mercury retrograde = printer troubles

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

@liberationastro Is an excess of black bile a preexisting condition?

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Louis Pasteur did not die on the cross so yall could contact avian flu from Raw Milk.

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Saw wicked

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Aquarius! You're about to experience a MAJOR transformation with Pluto transiting through that sign.

No shit. I'm gonna be 54 when this transit is over. If my life doesn't majorly transform between now and then...

Astrology is fake anyway

[d @doloreeesss]

I love outer planet conversations because theyre always like “Your life will change in the next whatever years” no sht 20 years have passed 💀

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

@jeauxlean I see no problem. Only a humble farmer and their crops

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

@themercuryrise I knew it was over for me when they dropped the EP-1320 Medieval RIGHT after I bought Suzuki's new Omnichord 😭

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Wicked and Gladiator 2 coming to theaters on the same day is the gayest thing to ever happen in cinema.

It's gay Barbenheimer

Big day for the Eraste and Eromenos. Huge day for the arsenokoitai.

[Larian Studios @larianstudios]

Does your friend have a Gale-sized hole that needs filling?

Baldur’s Gate 3 is on sale with 20% off on Steam until 11/11

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

@AstronautPants_ @dejathejovian Don't even get me started on the "harvest parties" at the Christian school I went to

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

@jeauxlean Let me tell you something about Ross Dress for Less. Imagine if TJ Maxx was junkier and more of a treasure hunt

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Going to start telling people that I met my husband during his initiation into the Orphic Cult I was a part of in college.

(This is true)

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

Dinner tonight: Chicken thighs and rice with a white wine and mushroom cream sauce

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

I can't wait until December, so I can start giving daily reviews of the Bonne Maman Advent Calendar.

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

the police seem to be on the case and doing a thorough job of collecting evidence.

[Jared @LeapingFish_]

I needed potato and corn chowder so I made potato and corn chowder