Max

An image is self-described // Cheapie

[Max @LeapingLemon]

=VLOOKUP(me, girls with nose rings, friendzone, TRUE)

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Me and her during any television program.

[FranceNews24 @FranceNews24]

📹 VIDÉO - #Insolite : Pendant la coupe des griffes, une marmotte semble avoir déjà accepté son destin… tandis que l’autre panique à chaque coup de coupe. Une scène aussi drôle que totalement théâtrale.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Listening to Blues Traveler’s 1994 hit “Run Around” with my sunglasses on and latte in hand. And the proverbial “they” thought this hangover might win.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Seeing a lot of stuff about Spotify sucks now and look, I generally like Spotify, but I just went to listen to “Hero” by Enrique Iglesias and they’re telling me it’s not even in his T10 songs? Now we’re just flirting with misinformation.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

@BrdcastMediaGuy What did he do? No Wi-Fi on plane.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

@RAkevinroberts Great! Keep the updates coming. On a flight and can’t watch (even though I bought WiFi on the plane 🤬 [will be disputing with AMEX tomorrow])

[Max @LeapingLemon]

**about to pull the plug from the coma**

“OAR…walked…so…The Script..could fly”

“WE NEED A DOCTOR HE’S BACK!”

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Webkinz was just on the right side of the dotcom boom

[Max @LeapingLemon]

How come when you run a 8 minute mile pace outdoors it feels like a leisurely stroll, but then when you do it on a treadmill it feels like you’re carrying the weight of your country in the Olympic 100M finals against Usain Bolt?

[Max @LeapingLemon]

My mom and aunt at the Thanksgiving dinner table

[Max @LeapingLemon]

@BalesSJustin Merp derp -_- thanks, Justin. Will try submitting a ticket with DK.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Men used to go to war and now they leave their Architectural Digest tote bag in your car.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Me watching the solar eclipse wondering how we can leverage competitor data to disrupt the Big Moon industry

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Nah because he’s planning HIS TEE TIME while I’m planning OUR TEA TIME.

It’s a team sport fellas. Act like it.

[Max @LeapingLemon]

So about Friday

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Get you a man who looks at you the way Luke Combs looks at Tracy Chapman

[Max @LeapingLemon]

Me hopping in to the zoom call 5 minutes late because I was screaming at the bodega cashier for not offering a bulk discount on Zyn

[Max @LeapingLemon]

We need to bring swirlies back - nerds have gotten too powerful