Lee Oeth

I'm in better shape than most men twice my age.

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

I’m throwing a Labor Day costume party and everyone came dressed as slutty Eugene V. Debs.

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

@BadAstronomer

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

Lake Mead has receded so much, Taylor, Landon, and Dodge’s spaceship has resurfaced. 🎶Oh my God, I was wrong. It was Earth all along🎶

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

@boslera https://t.co/yrC7l1CLAY

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

Before you decide if the former president is responsible for the Capitol riots, remember that in America you’re innocent until proven guilty, then proven guilty again, then proven guilty again and they hold a hearing in primetime to show everyone how you’re really, really guilty.

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

“Giant” spider in the bathroom! Thanks @blainecapatch #maxfuncon

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

Christmas used to be about Hans Gruber falling off of Nakitomi Plaza. #ReasonForTheSeason

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

This holiday season, I find myself asking the age old question… how did Sting, Andy Summers, and Stewart Copeland not record a song called “Police Navidad”?

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

Angela Merkle finally resigns over Pearl Harbor

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

The internet is for Gorn

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

@allisongill Autocorrect wants the D

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

@goaliepam I just want to point out that burns are very serious injuries

[Nihilist Arby's @nihilist_arbys]

Arby’s is the new pack of smokes. This Father’s Day, run out for some Arby’s and never look back. They’ll be fine. You’ll be happy again.

Please continue to enjoy Arby’s

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

@goaliepam There's Villain Village, that's on Third. There's Villains-R-Us, that's on Third too. You got No-I-Expect-You-To-Die. That's on Third. There's Nice Guys Finish Last... also on Third. You know, the villain district.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Cookie Monster is the only Muppet who consistently challenges the idea of maniacally scarfing down cookies. That is why they try to destroy him. Don’t fall for it this time, or any other.

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

@allisongill Checkmark and mate

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

Do your part… #NationalMargaritaDay

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

You just opened yourself up to a MASSIVE class action lawsuit.

[heɪz(ə)l @cisgenderhaver]

yet another unrealistic body standard for women

[Lee Oeth @Lee_Oeth]

25 45
#2545Now