David

Writer.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

@Pontifex You need a lot of prayers. The main one is that you convert to Catholicism.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

I must remember to sign myself out and not leave aggressive tweets open in public :)

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Too busy reading what I write but thanks for the suggestion.

@LeoSchlink

[The Cricketer @TheCricketerMag]

⚡️ OUT NOW! ⚡️

SEPTEMBER ISSUE 👉 https://t.co/7L3FmOEy4d

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Janis Joplin

Oh Lord won't you buy me an IPL team ...

@VishnChipz
@arfry68
@AnnieChave

https://t.co/SZqIeK1Skm

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Meanwhile, in the women's cricket @VishnChipz - Panties ...

[Cricbuzz @cricbuzz]

Rishabh Pant in focus once again as India aim to seal #INDvSA T20I series. Preview 👇

https://t.co/89syUERUUV

[David @LeftofLeftField]

About time he did some exercise.

@MickMCG34

[AFL @AFL]

Eddie was up and about when the Magpies won the #VFLWGF!

📷: Quinn Rooney

[David @LeftofLeftField]

A normal night in Daylesford during the AFL finals.

@MickMCG34

[Michael McGuane @MickMCG34]

That is brilliant ruckwork, poise and ball handling by Shane Mumford @GWSGIANTS considering where it is on the ground and the state of the game. Moments !

[Thebigun @arfry68]

Fucking place is going nuts. Reading some of these Transformers Gender Binary LCBT Britains got talent or whatever the fuck it's called question whether you can actually identify yourself as male or female. 🤡 #passthebrandy

[David @LeftofLeftField]

@highandsquare @AnnieChave Half the film would be about him going on charity walks and drinking 12 bottles of wine every night while he tells everyone to call him Sir Ian.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Tradition?

England is only famous for Henry VIII chopping off St Thomas More's head.

[Annie Chave @AnnieChave]

And it’s how our country is. We’re not Australia where the cities are few and far between and we’re not India where cricketers are super stars. We’re years of tradition, support, stats & loyal fans. It’s ours and we bloody love it. #opposethe100

[David @LeftofLeftField]

@AnnieChave Yes. He died of syphilis.

His last words? "All is lost."

Funny thing? Before he set up his own church in opposition to God he was given the title Defender of the Faith.

[Annie Chave @AnnieChave]

@LeftofLeftField Haha! There were a couple of Henry VIII’s wives as well

[David @LeftofLeftField]

In television news, the ABC have undertaken to do a remake of My Favorite Martian called My Favorite Marsh.

Mrs Marsh will come down from Mars in a spaceship and wear a Scientology mind monitor on her head, then vanish.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

In other households?

"Darling?"
"Yes, dear?"
"Pass the Marsh would you?"
"Here's your Marsh, darling. We can never have too much Marsh in our lives. It would be unbearable."

[David @LeftofLeftField]

A normal family dinner convo after everything in Australia is renamed Marsh.

"Marsh? Yes Marsh? Pass the Marsh. Here you go Marsh. Your Marsh. Thank you Marsh."

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Australia will be renamed Marsh tomorrow.

Every city and every suburb will be renamed Marsh.

People will either change their name to Marsh or be executed.

Dogs and cats must be renamed Marsh.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

@JakeNiallTHEAGE @agerealfooty @Richmond_FC Don't take this the wrong way but in literary terms it should be 'A free agent who may decide the flag.'

I'll bloody get told off again soon.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Bloody Marsh family. Bloody duds the lot of them.

[David @LeftofLeftField]

Why not call it the 'Palmolive Dishwashing Liquid Cup'?

Bloody Australia will be renamed Marsh soon.

[Cricket Australia @CricketAus]

New name, same cricket! Our domestic men's one-day competition starts today. Here's everything you need to know about the #MarshCup 👉 https://t.co/onNjtAsgg6