Daniel Taylor

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

Venezuela (🤢)
Vs.
USA (🥳)

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

@EaSalCar Imagine how bad you would feel right now if I were dead!

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

@EaSalCar There’s nothing dorky about it my friend. You’re lucky the dragon queen isn’t gonna read your message. She would be like “Dracarys!” and you would be like “ahhhhh my skin!”

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

@neontaster If there’s one thing your tweet has revealed it’s that a lot of grown men have watched Twilight.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

@seanhannity comparing Sanders to toast is an insult to toast. Please stop the war on breakfast rhetoric.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

Need to feel better about any horrible situation you're in?Simply consider the current situation of former entrepreneurs Mr and Mrs Rolodex.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

In an attempt to break from human clichés, I have begun putting my pants on two legs at a time.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

"'Best if used by' does not signify the expiration date", said Daniel to himself as he reached for the milk carton...

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

@tomoejp
That's true! And it's completely your fault!;P

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

P90X while listening to Noah and the Whale's "First Days of Spring".
Current mood: equal parts pumped and melancholy.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

If "Gentlemen Broncos" had been written, directed and produced by cats, I wouldn't have been surprised.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

If "Adventure Time" had starred a magical shapeshifting cat, I might have given the feline kind a second chance.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

It's Friday, everyone!!
313,000,000 social media users agree..

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

I envy cats for their ability to pull off a purr when touched, without being called weird. Other than that, cats suck.

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

"I don't give a flip about your opinion!! Unless I disagree with your opinion. Then I give so many flips it's ridiculous." #don'tbethatguy

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

Ah? Twitter is still here? I shall utilize it to say important things!

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

"Om nashi me"

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

If I have to break the heart of one more tiny girl scout today, I'm going to cry. #alwayscarrycash

[Daniel Taylor @LeggomyDaniel]

Do you enjoy marginally humorous statements once every other week or so? Then follow me on Twitter!

[𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧𝘄𝗶𝗽𝘀 @TwopTwips]

A SMALL coniferous tree in the corner of your living room is an excellent space to store Christmas decorations. (via @drifterpowell)