Funny Tweets

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

I may seem like an asshole

but deep down I’m a good person

and even deeper down I’m a bigger asshole

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

can bob the builder fix my grades

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

christmas 🎄🎅🎁

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

To all my teachers:
⌒ 　
|= |
|= |
/⌒|~ |⌒i-、
/|　|　|　| ｜
｜
(　(　(　( | ｜
＼　　　 /
＼　 　 |

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

recent studies have shown that ur a lil bitch

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

who let you out of the womb

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

how are 11 year olds in relationships and kissing and stuff when i cant even order something at mcdonalds without stuttering

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

there’s a difference between “lazy” and “i don’t want to fucking do that shit”

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

school fucked up my sleeping pattern now i can't sleep in on weekends

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

no offense but i want to set you on fire

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

i miss seeing your name show up on my phone

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

50 shades of text me the fuck back

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

roses are red

violets are blue

sunflowers are yellow

i bet you were expecting something romantic but no this is just gardening facts

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

fun prank: replace sugar at restaurants with cocaine

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

School attendance would go up by like 300% if we had swirly chairs, or bean bags instead of ugly blue chairs harder than a pornstars dick.

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

what do u call a sleeping pizza

a piZzza

ha ha haha

someone date me pls

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

school has 6 letters & if u double that u get 12 & if u divide that by 3 u get 4 & if u do some more math u get 666 coincidence i think not

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

me: "wow I need to do homework but first:" *eats dinner* *goes on twitter* *checks facebook* *knits a scarf* *does oragimi* me:"oh it's 2am"

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

my bed is my best friend, fuck you all

[Funny Tweets @LegitJokes]

F is for friends that fuck you over

U is for Ur a hoe

N is for never talk to me again, leave me the fuck alone...