Simpsons Quotes

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

My new show is called "Handle with Care." I play Jack Handle, a retired cop, who shares an apartment with a retired criminal. We're the original odd couple!

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Hmm, there it is: Aus-tra-li-a. I'll be damned. [spins globe] Hahaha! Look at this country! U-R-Gay.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Hey, guys? Just so you don't hear any wild rumors, I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia. // That's no reason to block the TV.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

We have them in America. They're called bullfrogs. // What?! That's an odd name. I'd have called them "chazzwazzers."

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

I see you've played knifey spooney before.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Hey, hey, I may be ugly and hate-filled, but I...um, what was the third thing you said?

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

They call 'em fingers but I never see 'em fing.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Oh, I could've smoked that pot...and worn that hair.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Oh Smithers, I would have said anything to get your stem cells.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Now that's just bad. You've got no attitude, you're barely outrageous, and I don't know what you're in, but it's not MY face!

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

You're going down, Homer. I'm gonna fool you! // You talk better than you fool. // I'll fool you up real nice.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

It's a good thing that beer wasn't shaken up any more or I'd have looked quite the fool. An April fool, as it were.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Where is Bart anyway? His dinner's getting all cold and eaten.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

It's 11:00. Do you know where your children are? // I told you last night. No!

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Watch "The Conan O'Brien Show," you'll see. // All right, but after Leno, I'm all laughed out, you know.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Homer, you've been out all night and you look like you've accepted someone as your personal something. Were you at that Catholic church?

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

I'm only doing what I think is right. I believe Freddy Quimby should walk out of here a free hotel.

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Wendy Windbag? Ugly Doris? Hortense the Mule-Faced Doll!

[Simpsons Quotes @LemonShapedRock]

Hello Smithers. You're quite good at turning me on.