I escape into things like my phone, social media, YouTube, overthinking, researching things I don’t really need to research, or even “productive” activities that aren’t actually the thing I should be doing. This has affected me since school.
UIntil i finally decided to step on the plates of steel myself and kick them down, finally ending the life i absolutely hated. stacked at least 30 plates of rusted steel on the nutella jar, surprised at how much it could handle.
But deep down you’re still left wondering what you’re supposed to feel. Maybe this is just where I am right now. Not exactly okay/sure what I’m feeling either. Just taking things slowly, one small thing at a time & trying to be okay with where I am
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atnd die.wo start all over
iould it be any easier
i want to be normal.
i wish i was just normal.
i wish i wasn't even born at all
i wish i wasn't like this
i wish i wasn't so skinny
i wish i wasn't so sick
i wish i wasn't so weird
wish i wasn't so pathetic