Women,
Coming to my DM to ask what you should do, because your man is cheating, will not make me advise you to leave him.
And it's not because I'm a man.
It's because if cheating is a deal breaker for you, you'll tell me exactly how you plan to dump his ass like men do.
End.
Remember, I said "empower him and protect his ego".
Meaning, you don't have to necessarily let your sister know about it.
"if not for my family, would we be able to feed?"
End.
If you know that your sister's husband is not lazy & he's a kind.
But things are not looking good for him yet, and you wish to be of help.
Empower him & protect his ego, instead of empowering your sister to be feeding her husband.
You'll destroy your sister's marriage.
End.
Please read this DM from a married man.
It's a story of how he didn't even date his wife at all, & got married to her in less than 2 months.
But from his story, you can tell that he's a disciplined man who despite realizing his earlier mistakes & wrong judgment, decided not
@Wizarab10 This is a painful experience.That woman has no shame,zero regard for her husband and marriage and she's capable of killing.When next she calls,record the conversation for evidence,ask her certain questions so she can talk more.And make sure you confine in your favorite sibling
My first relationship, I was 21. She was 19. It was love at first sight - what you guys call falling in love. I asked her out for 15 months.(YES) I wanted her and nobody else.
However, in those 15 months, I never bought her anything - not once. But I did call like 2 - 3 times a week to check on her, ask how she is doing, talk about her day. When I see her anywhere, we talk for few minutes. None of the conversation were ever sexual or intimate. We talked like friends. She never billed me - not once. She never asked me to prove love by spending. The first time I paid for anything was the food we ate and movie we saw at the cinema on our first date.
She didn't know me. But she treated me with courtesy. When she finally gave it a thought, she paid attention to me in her own way to know the kind of person I was. She asked people and asked my friends about me. She chose me out of conviction of my personality.
Few weeks into the relationship, I wanted to buy something and I was going to sort it out anyway. She gave me her card and I declined and she told me expressly that:
"When I ask, you give. I won't be in a relationship where you give and I don't. You won't deprive me of the chance to express my love. If you don't accept, I'll never accept anything from you again."
She said it like a threat and she meant it. I took the card and my relationship was one of mutual affection where we gifted each other. Anybody could pay for outing, we both knew each other's pin and collected the other person's card at random. We were both students and she was very conscious of that.
SHE WAS 19!!!
Before you say "na ghat time, no be now," it has alwaya been like that. People whose allowance were not up to mine were spending money to get affection. For many, it didn't work out. It is a mindset thing. If my personality is not enough, I don't want you.
▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎
I think I've responded to people who think I say what I say because I have never fallen in love. I fell in love with her at first sight but in hindsight, I can say I loved her when we started dating because then I knew her and I could love her right. She was pretty awesome.
Again, I'm still against love at first sight. She could have turned out to be a witch. I didn't know her. I was lucky but I can't advise you based on luck.
Again, do not chase anyone for that long. As much as she was wonderful, I wouldn't do that anymore. That is why I don't advise you to.
You want to know why it took 15 months?
She explained in the relationship that when I started asking her out, she was in a long distance relationship so couldn't give me what I wanted. (The relationship ended 6 months into the time I was asking her out.) Then she needed time off dating. She wasn't going to hop from one to.the other just because I was interested. She also didn't tell me she broke up with him then because she didn't want me to take advantage of it. She wanted to decide in her own time. When she was ready, she did her due diligence to know the kind of person she was going into a relationship with. MONEY WAS NOT A FACTOR.
This is already long enough so I'll talk about the next relationship in another post some day. The whole point of this is that you can't negotiate genuine desire. If my personality is not enough for you, I don't want you.
As long as your life is not threatened,stay back and fix your marital issues.
When you leave, it's almost impossible to resolve issues and it paves way for insecurities.
Shalom.