Lewis Anderson

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

How many tins could the tin man tan if the tin man could tan tins?

[Rachael Swindon @Rachael_Swindon]

The hike in National Insurance is expected to bring in £36 billion over three years.

A one-off wealth tax on net assets over £500,000 would bring in £262 billion.

Why not take the money from someone who can afford it, rather than someone who can’t?

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@VivaLaGinga Did you seriously just say hitherto undreamt of?

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@campbellmcf14 @geraldstratfor3 Need to get down to the book signing when it comes

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

Today’s the four year anniversary of my finest work. The same day @TorinCurrie tried to sell my tele, guitars and couches on gumtree for £50 because I used his mug for a cup of tea.

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

How many tins could the tin man tan if the tin man could tan tins?

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

If you’ve got 100 cows in a field, how do you know which ones going on holiday?

The one with the wee calf...

[James Doleman @jamesdoleman]

Jokes that only work in a Scottish accent.?
I'll go first
Did you hear about the lonely prisoner?
He was in his cell.

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@VivaLaGinga @The_Shadda @Mark_Deans Hahaha. That is beautiful! Golmlee is my personal favourite.

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@VivaLaGinga You forgot to put in ‘Reintroduce Capital Punishment.’

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@SaffronCoffield Fight me

[Nicola Sturgeon @NicolaSturgeon]

The EU Commission building in Brussels tonight (and if you look carefully you’ll see that they do appear to have left a light on for us!) 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿❤️🇪🇺

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@SaffronCoffield Never seen you follow through on one of these threats yet

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@VivaLaGinga @ElyseWillems “This canteen food’s shit, we ain’t had nothing but maggoty bread for three stinkin days!”

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

Uch fuck this

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@Muirheed @McconnachieRyan aye I see now...

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@McconnachieRyan Ah well. Worth a punt. See yous next time

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

Vote smart and get the tories to fuck. The most deceitful, cowardly, self-serving party I could ever possibly imagine. If you think you can trust them one jot you are wrong. https://t.co/QMLMJvxywT

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@DroogJanus @afneil I’ll take it. ‘Andrew Fucking Neil’ sounds way too cool for a nonce

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

Every time I see @afneil twitter handle it reads as ‘Andrew Fucking Neil.’ I’ll be very disappointed if it turns out to be something boring like a middle name... #emptychair

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

Today is the last day you can register to vote, so if you haven’t already this is your last chance. Don’t vote Tory...https://t.co/AFUKzeIzPC

[Lewis Anderson @LewisAnderson6]

@Smandy_Smarlin That’s up there with one of hardest things I’ve had to watch...