LexyFATTS

Dog lover. People hater. Story teller. Stage Dweller. Improv. Comic. Fat Person. Poopy-pants pessimist. Dillweed. Crab-Apple #Comweedian™ #HashTiger™

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Yep...

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Sometimes the TV controller is just too far away. If I could invent a magneto-type tv controller magnet id be the richest muthaF'er on the 🌎

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

@KattFunny my condolences for your loss Katt. When the time is tough remember she lives on through you

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

@video @TheTedAllen well I'll never get that 30secs of my life back...

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Honey I bought the bronzer, tanning bed, and spray tan gift machine for me. But go ahead! Have at it!#FamousMelaniaTrumpQuotes

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet I went straight for the SALAD BAR! (Said no one, ever)

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

@layingbackeatin lol

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

@layingbackeatin I always feel special. That's why I wear a helmet incase I get too excited. Wife's orders 😉

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet I had a minor heart attack. But I was relieved when they refilled the bacon tray. Then I had a real heart attack

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet I saw all my tweeps and we had a hot dog eating contest. I won of course. But then I woke up. A man needs a dream

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet there wasn't a bunch of gross elderly people. But that was just one time. And it was after 8pm

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

#ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet I had the guy make me a special omelette. After watching others make the same omelette, I didn't feel so special ☹️

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

I tried to slip into a layer of lasagna. Bc it looked so warm and cozy #ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

I saw Oprah eating a whole trey of BREAD sticks. I told her her secret was safe w/ me. And that's why im still alive #ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

I asked for a to-go box. Why? Bc I'm fat & I just don't give a damn #ThisOneTimeAtTheBuffet

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Tigs n berries #UnlikelyBreakfastCereals

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Twigs n Berries #UnlikelyBreakfastCereals

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Expressing your inner Nutball #TheInternetIn4Words

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Expressing your inner freak #TheInternetIn4Words

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Best angled photos. Ever #TheInternetIn4Words

[LexyFATTS @LexFatactor]

Follow people without stalking (kinda) #TheInternetIn4Words