i just want to be happy and safe and loved. I don't want to be sad or scared anymore. Im so so tired. Im so tired. I don't even know what being loved is supposed to mean to me. Is my sadness and pain from him love? does he love me? does he care? does anyone care? i never want to
yeah its over. im stuck in this flesh forever. nobody could ever love something like this. nobody could ever understand
and these are just my forearms. like fuck
I just wanna die i just wanna die like I Just. I just. like, if I was a normal cute girl the scars on my body would just be like aesthetic and appealing but im fucking spotted and swollen and ugly and my scars are so im a monster im a IM FUCK IM IM
imfeeling fine
my brain is a prison
my body is a prison
my life is a prison
my soul is a prison
the world is a prison
the universe in its entirety is a prison
im locked
locked locked locked locked locked locked up in my mind stuck in this universe
I genuinely think i need to up my dosage of mood stabilization medication because its so tiring. I had a breakdown like crying and shaking and everything snd like 15 minutes later i was like fine at target. LOOK AT THE LPS I GOT THOUGH
ignore my dusty ass figures shh
ive been clean for about a month now. Last wound just about healed up- Iv'e got no scabs anywhere on my skin. That's odd for me. I thought I would be more happy but, I feel like i need to prove it to myself that im unwell. I dont, i dont feel accomplished at all just invalidated