alexis

my dm’s are open for funny tweets

[໊ @sonohoor]

my favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position or a brain tumor

[L 🇨🇦 @Ann_Hedonia1]

Them: just listen to your body

My body: go back to bed and don’t ever get out

[𝗱𝗮𝗻𝗻𝘆🫧💚 @beyoncegarden]

she won so bad i'm crying😭

[Ang✨ @_xoxoangg]

Mind you they not even together anymore

[𝓑ᥫ᭡ @quesadaaa_]

Ask "why them kids ain't in school?" whenever I see children in the daytime

[Déx @dextreaks]

icarly was right..live life..breathe air ..I know somehow we're gonna get there

[KΛMMY ¢໐งē 💋 @kammycove]

@mfbenji Me making sure my sims are all where they’re supposed to be

[Case @Cactuscali19912]

Oh you want me to work....in December? When there's sugar plum fairies dancing and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Get real.

[jay ✰ @jayythewave]

how much for the one that harms them

[lebron james hairline @soichaao]

i’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety

[niy @niyaaahx]

for my birthday, i want everyone to tell me how much they love me and why in immense detail

[feyisayo 💸 @feyiszn]

I do not litter. I will carry my trash until I find a proper dustbin or dumpsite.

[Admiral Snaccbar 🐙 @Chris_Mench]

Serving shrimp with the tail still on when it’s already mixed into something (pasta, rice, etc) is insane.

[Heisjayy 𝕏 @Jayysein]

Mispronouncing a word. It just means you read it somewhere but you've not heard it anywhere.

[blossom @imteelilaa]

i don't like people with privacy screens. the fuck you got in that phone lil sneaky bitch