Liz Ziner

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

Hey hot tip don't ask the TSA bodyscan guy if he can see your IUD bc he doesn't know what that is & it sounds dangerous lol who knew right

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

I would follow @tomdelonge into a bunker.

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

Coming out of twitter retirement to say this:

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@IAmEcw Thank you, Eric!!!

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@ShermanJeff Gloves in a bottle! Believe the hype.

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@qdobagoodingjr Personally, zero interest in being able to distinguish a conversation heart from a pepto bismol chewable. Where’s the fun in that???

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@realDonaldTrump Lol okay loser

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@realDonaldTrump You, sir, are crazier than a shit house rat.

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@realDonaldTrump Your peanus is a circus peanut I have proof

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

If I’ve learned anything from watching every season of Housewives, it’s that bon bons need a serious rebranding.

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@IHateMattDrufke You have no idea how much this means to me, right now especially😭 you’re truly a gift. Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

Billie Eilish sounds like an inkjet printer
don’t @ me

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@ellle_em Brain fog white mystery airhead.
SHOOK.

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

Dear THAT guy on our overbooked flight frantically trying to find room in the overhead for your soft-cased acoustic guitar,

Your entertainment value is peaking as we speak & it sucks it’s gonna take 5 years of torturing your friends with wagon wheel for you to realize it.

[Lil B THE BASEDGOD @LILBTHEBASEDGOD]

NO CONSENT NO BOOTY 2018 - Lil B

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

I’m arguing for drunk pizza in the classic debate: drunk pizza vs sober pizza. Been training for this for 9 yrs🍕🍕🍕

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

@marcusdipaola Where is the best place to donate to help hurricane animal rescue efforts?

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

If you’ve ever doubted the existence of Catholic guilt, may I present this Facebook message from my mom:

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

I’m getting married in 13 days aka stress-eating fistfuls of sugar cereal while frantically pedaling a stationary bike.

So that’s how I’m doing.

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

Why do they even make Icehouse in bottles?

[Liz Ziner @LiZiner]

Say what you will about folk singers, but they are VERY good at geography.